Cormac Travels

Lost Food in Translation

2011-10-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

In terms of language, English and Chinese are worlds apart. We're talking about pronunciations, structure, logograms versus the English version of the Latin alphabet, and of course, idiomatically. So when I post these signs on this blog, I am not making fun of Chinese immigrants (as my great-grandmother was Cantonese-Hakka), as I am making light of the fact that the restaurant didn't bother to get these signs translated properly.

Mmm, beef tablets. They'll cure your headache and your hunger.

Ah yes, there's no fun, like "Dried Fried Beef Ho Fun." "Fun" is an apt name by the way, as these wide noodles are just that.

Sour little toes with ginger? Sounds like French-Chinese fusion to me.

A new blog

2011-05-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, my friends John and Jinn have a new food review blog up.

Check it out.

Cajun pulled pork time

2011-03-19T00:07:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, my new best friend is our Hamilton Beach programable Stay or Go Slow Cooker. I started out last Saturday with chicken adobo, and I made another batch on Monday. So, I wondered what to make next and I stumbled onto this recipe for Cajun pulled pork.

This picture isn't the most flattering one in the world...

...and this one makes the meat look a lot more pink than it actually turned out. The beauty of the slow cooker is that if you work at night like I do, you can set the thing and go to sleep, and your main course is ready when you wake up.

This, is how it actually turned out. I would add about a little less than a tablespoon to the spice rub, but otherwise, it was a perfect recipe. Laissez les bon temps rouler.

Look-alike?

2011-03-18T06:29:00.000-07:00

Well done, Top Chef, bringing back past season champions to compete against the finalists of Top Chef All-Stars. The quickfire didn't quite pack the excitement that I thought it would, but I still enjoyed it. Of course, it didn't help that a certain notion kept distracting me while I was watching Mike Isabella take on Michael Voltaggio...

...you see, I wasn't totally convinced that it was Michael Voltaggio!

What am I talking about? I'll put it to you this way...

...why don't you ever see Tony Hawk and Michael Voltaggio in the same place?

Eh?

Yeah, thought so.

Goodbye, Superstarrr

2011-01-15T16:14:00.000-08:00

So it's official, according to Eater.com, Kelly Choi will not be back for the third season of "Top Chef Masters." The following image accompanies the article...

Oh c'mon, Eater.com, she isn't that bad. Sure, she could stand to eat a cheeseburger...or five.

This pic is pretty much as close as she allows food to get near her. Still, who else will read the judge's ratings with such an exaggerated aplomb?

"Susur Lee, the judges gave you three and-a-half staaaarrrsss!"

Happy New Year and, "Is This What Makes Women Truly Happy?

2011-01-08T15:49:00.000-08:00

Well, Happy New Year! For all intents and purposes, I have completely forgotten about this blog. Mostly because my other blogs, writing and the holidays have taken up the majority of my free time.

On the other hand, I have discovered what makes women truly happy. If you pick up any women's magazine or watch any channel that is geared towards the fairer sex, the advertisements play upon the insecurities of women...both real and imagined. Yet, there is one recurring item that will make the better half of the world consistently happy.

Are we talking about marriage? Those that have walked down the aisle (including The Missus) will tell you that it is not always what it has cracked up to be.

Is it jewelry? I'm sure De Beers would like you to think so, but some of the most miserable women that I have ever known were adorned with some of the finest baubles.

Is it chocolate? Weight-gain, acne and weight-gain beg to differ.

No, we are all over-thinking this, and the answer is right in front of our faces-

That's right, salad.

You heard me, I said, "salad." Think about it for a second, every newspaper, print or TV ad depicts women in rapturous bliss with a plate of greens or fruit.

Of course, using crushed Xanax in lieu of croutons certainly helps. Take the gal above for example, she's been t*ssing that salad for six continuous hours and she's on the verge of getting carpal tunnel syndrome. This epiphany was inspired by Thehairpin.com, and they have all kinds spoofery devoted to skewing the culture of women's magazines.

Liz Hickok in the NYC, and in Vegas

2010-10-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

Please, don't forget about Liz Hickok's next two appearances-

New York City: You Are Here → Mapping the Psychogeography of New York City

September 24 – November 6, 2010

Pratt Manhattan Gallery

144 West 14th Street, 2nd Floor

Gallery Hours: Tuesday–Saturday 11 am to 6 pm

Artists: Kim Baranowski, Ingrid Burrington, Dahlia Elsayed, Jane Hammond, Hand Drawn Map Association, Liz Hickok, Maira Kalman and Rick Meyerowitz, Nina Katchadourian, Daniela Kostova and Olivia Robinson, Miranda Maher, Bill Rankin, Liz Scranton, Asma Ahmed Shikoh, Robbin Ami Silverberg, Jeff Sisson, and Nicola Twilley.

Las Vegas: Off the Strip, New Genres Festival

October 17-21, 2010

Contemporary Art Center, Las Vegas, Nevada,

Her video will be part of a screening at the Sci-Fi Center on Friday, October 15th, 7:30 pm

Sci-fi Center, Commercial Center: 900 E. Karen AvenueLas Vegas, NV 89109

Katherine Tomlinson's anthology "Just Another Day In Paradise" is here!

2010-10-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

Life in the big city is not for the faint of heart. Shadows lurk in sunlight; blood spills on floors; hope and dread are just two sides of a neon sign; and loneliness is a paper cut on the heart, an invisible wound that eventually kills. In these stories, Katherine Tomlinson explores the dark heart of urban living. It is what it is...Just Another Day in Paradise.

Information on this outstanding anthology and a sample of the first ten pages are right here at Smashwords.com.

The October Flash Frenzy has begun!

2010-10-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

Thirty-one days.

Thirty-one stories.

Thirty-one illustrations.

This will be an October to remember. Starting today, October 1st, Dark Valentine Magazine will post a new story a day. The frenzy begins with a real chiller, “Animal Lover” by Kat Parrish. It's illustrated by Mark Satchwill, and the frenzy will end with a Lovecraftian tale by Barbara Emrys, also illustrated by Mark Satchwill. You won’t want to miss a single story.

Liz Hickok Takes On Manhattan!

2010-09-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

It was inevitable and it certain has been a long time coming. Liz Hickok has captured Manhattan-

As usual, I will let her tell it because not only does she have a way with art, but also with words-

Hello friends and supporters,

I wanted to let you know about three upcoming shows and events happening across the country.

In New York I will be constructing a jellied model of the skyline of Lower Manhattan, including the Statue of Liberty. It will be the largest sculpture I've ever made.

For Fall Open Studios, in San Francisco, I will have on view a smaller version of the New York sculpture.

My new piece about suburban Las Vegas in Jell-O is in a video screening in Las Vegas.

I hope to see you at one of these events. If you know people who will be interested to hear about any of these shows, please pass this along.

New York:

You Are Here → Mapping the Psychogeography of New York CitySeptember 24 – November 6, 2010

Pratt Manhattan Gallery

144 West 14th Street, 2nd Floor

Gallery Hours: Tuesday–Saturday 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Public Reception: 6–8 p.m. Thursday, September 23

Pratt Manhattan Gallery will present “You Are Here → Mapping the Psychogeography of New York City,” an exhibition of work by a selection of contemporary artists that will map the emotional terrain of the world’s most famous and influential urban center, New York City, and explore the effect of the city’s powerful moods on those who live and work here. “You Are Here” is guest-curated by Katharine Harmon, author of The Map as Art: Contemporary Artists Explore Cartography (Princeton Architectural Press, 2009) and You Are Here: Personal Geographies and Other Maps of the Imagination (Princeton Architectural Press, 2003).

Artists: Kim Baranowski, Ingrid Burrington, Dahlia Elsayed, Jane Hammond, Hand Drawn Map Association (Kristofer Harzinski, Janine Nichols, Shane Watt, Rob Servo, Tony Dowler, Will Haughery, Yumi Roth, Gowri Savoor, Krista Shaffer, Kees Touw, Dean Valadez, Kris Harzinski), Liz Hickok, Maira Kalman and Rick Meyerowitz, Nina Katchadourian, Daniela Kostova and Olivia Robinson, Miranda Maher, Bill Rankin, Liz Scranton, Asma Ahmed Shikoh, Robbin Ami Silverberg, Jeff Sisson, and Nicola Twilley.

San Francisco:

Fall Open Studios

Sunday, October 10th, 11-6pm, with a Preview night on Friday, October 9th, 7-10pm

1890 Bryant Street, Studio 211, San Francisco, CA

Las Vegas:

Off the Strip, New Genres FestivalOctober 17th-21st, 2010

Contemporary Art Center, Las Vegas, Nevada

My video will be part of a screening at the Sci-Fi Center on Friday, October 15th, 7:30 pm

Sci-fi Center, Commercial Center: 900 E. Karen Avenue, Las Vegas, NV 89109

Sincerely,

Liz Hickok

Nice, er, r...

2010-08-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

Got wine? In theory, for the less-endowed alcholic female...

there's an app, er, bra for that. Check it out-

The Winerack

Now you can turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! We get it that some chicks just don’t want that pregnant look that comes with The Beerbelly. We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Sue, who is not, no offense Sue, Well Endowed. Strap on the Winerack and Voila’ Sue’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.

I'm not a sommelier by any stretch of the imagination, so I won't question whether this would effect whether the wine would still be served at the correct temperature.

Five & Ten

2010-07-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

I said no more memes, but it is the Princess that asks.

Instructions...

(1) Turn on your MP3 player/iPod.
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode.
(3) Write down the first TEN songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating, please (even if letting the world know you listen to crap "Weekend in New England" will humiliate you).
(4) Choose FIVE people to be tagged. It is generally considered to be in good taste to tag the person who tagged you, since there should be new songs appearing with Shuffle every time.

1. Robin Trower "No Time"
2. Dwight Yoakam "Honky Tonk Man (LP Version)"
3. CSS "Rat Is Dead (it came with my smartphone)"
4. The Family Stand "Ghetto Heaven"
5. Herb Albert "Rise"

6. Blind Faith "Can't Find My Home"
7. Dwight Yoakam "Please, Please Baby (LP Version)"
8. Mountain "Mississippi Queen"
9. Kinski "Punching Goodbye Out Front (also came with the phone and a brilliant song title)"
10. Dwight Yoakam "I Sang Dixie (LP Version)"

All the Dwight Yoakam songs come from "Just Lookin' For A Hit," which is the only full LP that I have on my phone's MP3 player.

Pizza in a cone?

2010-06-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

Do you remember in "The Jerk" when they had "pizza in a cup?"

Well, I guess somebody to took that to its next natural progression, with a "Pizzacone." Ah, only in Manhattan.

Here comes The Real L Word

2010-06-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

Oh man, if you don't already have Showtime? This will definitely make you want to subscribe, because they are bringing "The Real L Word."

Executive producer of "The L Word," Ilene Chaiken has teamed-up with Magical Elves ("Top Chef" and "Last Comic Standing") to bring us, "The Real L Word," and it's premiering June 20th on Showtime. Follow a group of six lesbians in their daily lives at work and play in Los Angeles, and you'll quickly learn that real life is even more compelling than fiction.

OurScene TV has the scoop.

Showtime has a trailer and pictures of the stunning cast.

The Premiere Issue of Dark Valentine is here!

2010-06-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

Though you wouldn't know it from this blog because I don't mention it here, I am a writer and an author. I am proud to be involved with a new magazine that specializes in dark fiction, and its name is Dark Valentine Magazine.

The cover illustration is by Joanne Renaud, and novelist Elizabeth Zelvin kicks things off with her story, "The Silkie." My friend, editor and author Katherine Tomlinson has a yarn called "Automancer."

My fellow authors from the Premiere Issue of Needle Magazine, Sandra Seamans, Paul D. Brazill and Chad Rohrbacher also make this issue a must-read, with their amazing story-telling talents.

Please, check out the Dark Valentine Magazine in PDF form, here.

Ray-Ray as Sybil

2010-05-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

This one is self-explanatory, clickety-click it to make bigger-

Courtesy of Food Network Humor.

Mario, don't eat that cheese!

2010-04-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

Eat Me Daily had a nice little feature on a food/art exhibition at The Brooklyn Museum.

I showed this picture to The Missus and she said, "What's in there, Polaroid cameras and Ken dolls?"

"Mario Batali catching on his cracker melting cheese from molded heads hanging from the ceiling." Uh, hells (sic) no. That's just not sanitary, Ginger. So, just what was in the pinata?

Apparently, "(Hostess) Snowballs, Yodels and pink balloons." Here is Part 2 of the feature, with more detail about the exhibitions and their creators.

Spring is here, and so is Liz Hickok!

2010-04-23T08:32:00.000-07:00

Ah, Spring is here, and like the warmth that thaws us out, Liz Hickock has another show.

Image from Ivanne.com/wordpress

What sayeth, San Francisco's greatest artist in residence?

Hello all!

Spring has finally arrived! And here’s the perfect excuse to get out into the fabulous spring sunshine. If you happen to be in the San Francisco area this weekend, this is your formal invitation to Spring Open Studios. All the info is below. This is a great opportunity to explore the Mission District– home to the largest concentration of working artists in the city as well as great restaurants and cafes, galleries and vibrant nightlife. We have over 30 artists participating in our building alone, making it well worth a visit.

If you won’t be in the area, you might be interested in one of my current or upcoming exhibitions happening across the country. My recent exhibitions in Houston and Seattle were a lot of fun, and have led to more exhibitions to come. I'll keep you updated as they get closer.

Spring Open Studios in the Mission

When: THIS Friday April 23rd 6-9 pm (Wine and cheese reception)

Saturday and Sunday April 24th + 25th 11 am-6 pm (Open to the Public...invite friends!!)

Where: 1890 Bryant Street, Studio 211 (Cross street: Mariposa) San Francisco, CAVisit www.missionartistsunited.org for the catalog of participating artists, cool coupons from our local business fans, and a map.

Current Show:I am in a group show called You Art What You Eat at MASS MoCA, an amazing museum in North Adams, Massachusetts. It will be open through Labor Day weekend.

Upcoming show:Emo-Mapping New York, Pratt Manhattan Gallery, NY, NY September 23–November 6, 2010

Thanks so much!

Liz Hickok

Yo, "peep sushi?"

2010-03-31T20:10:00.000-07:00

"Peep sushi?"

Apparently so.

And of course, don't forget this rule-

1. There is no wasabi. Same goes for ginger. Peeps are sassy enough on their own. (We tried smashing up a green Peep for a wasabi-esque condiment, but decided against this.)

Or this one-

5. Don't let silent Peeps screams deter you from your task. You're a professional.

I love Dailyfork.com

2010-03-28T01:44:00.000-07:00

The Daily Fork has good stuff and great content. If not every day, than at least five to six times a week. Restaurant reviews, food and gourmet news. All served with a good, heaping spoonful of humor.

This week they had a link to the most disturbing food print ads from the 70's, from The Houston Press.

Looking at this "Raisin Pudding Pie" ad. Seeing how cults reached their peak back in the 70's, was this all a coincidence? Sure, come on out to the ranch. Forget about your troubles, and have some pie. Forget about the world...literally, and sign over all your worldly possessions to us. Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-hah! Oh crap, did I just say all that out loud?

You know, I am one of the few people who just absolutely loves German food, but German pizza? Some things are just crimes against nature. Most of the pictures in these ads look like Dr. Monkey Monkerstein's culinary horrors!

A hamburger dress? Seriously? Insert your own entendre.

Marcel, SyFy, coincidence?

2010-03-20T19:06:00.000-07:00

From Eat Me Daily-

Seems like you can't have a cable network without a food show these days. Syfy has announced a new reality lineup which includes a show called Marcel's Quantum Kitchen, starring Top Chef season 2 runner-up Marcel Vigneron. The show will feature Vigneron's new catering company as they take on wacky theme parties such as a fairytale graduation and a goth-rock fashion show. It seems that the only reason this show fits the science fiction genre is that Vigneron is a molecular gastronomist, but we'll wait to see it before we pass judgment.

Hmm, on the SyFy Channel? Why on the SyFy Channel?

Hell if I know, Elliot.

Why am I always the last to find out?

2010-02-03T08:30:00.000-08:00

Why don't some of my best friends tell me these things?*

*From Daily Fork.

Liz Hickok's Holiday Open Studio

2009-12-10T08:30:00.000-08:00

If you've ever seen Vertigo...

...then you would see how Liz Hickok's Mission Delores would fit in just nicely. Hitch and Saul Bass would heartily approve. Hey, Liz is having a show and she says-

Hello Friends,

I'd like to invite you to my Holiday Open Studio event happening in San Francisco this Sunday, Dec 13th. It would be great if you could come by to see my two new Mission District (in Jell-O) photos, as well as some work from my recent residency at MASS MoCA.

In addition to drinks, tasty snacks, and music, I will also have a brand new Jell-O sculpture in progress. Come get a sneak preview. Please feel free to invite friends, family, and colleagues.

If you won’t be in the area, you might be interested in one of my current or upcoming exhibitions happening across the country. I’ve included the information below, and on my website. Or email me for more information.

Holiday Open Studio:

Sunday December 13th, from 2 to 7pm1890 Bryant St. Studio #211 (at Mariposa St.)San Francisco, CA 94110

Current Show:

I am in a group show called You Art What You Eat at MASS MoCA, an amazing museum in North Adams, Massachusetts. It will be open through the Spring. I also had a week-long residency there this past October, working with second graders. I’ll be posting the photos from their projects in the next week or so.

Three upcoming shows:

-There's No Place Like Here, Tower Gallery at SUNY Brockport, Brockport, NY, January 27–February 26, 2010 (Opening reception: January 26)

-Off the Map, Kirkland Art Center, Kirkland, WA, February 2010 (Opening reception: February 11)

-Discoveries of the Meeting Place, FotoFest, Houston, TX, March 2010

Best wishes and happy holidays!

Liz Hickok

Top Chef, WTF?

2009-12-04T23:42:00.000-08:00

So let's see, her chevre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil was just a little to salty for the gals. Tom and Michael Chiarello weren't complaining during the serving.

Besides, she didn't serve a pregnant woman an undercooked egg (uh, Mike Voltaggio) and she had duckiness going for her.

She has duckiness.

Forget them, Jen, you're my Top Chef.

Uh, would you drink that?

2009-12-03T19:53:00.000-08:00

Would you drink an ale named "Pliny The Elder?"

Sure, maybe, I don't know. I do have some reservations with the brew I saw sitting next to it...

...I mean, "Blind Pig?" It is probably a tasty ale, but I can't help but think of people getting blind off of bathtub gin during Prohibition.

Enough of that, here is Weird Al with "The Beer Song."

How neglected is this blog?

2009-11-24T23:04:00.000-08:00

How neglected is this blog? It is definitely the red-headed stepchild of my bunch.

As I have said before, I have a bunch of Las Vegas pics that I still have to upload to this blog, and I probably won't get to them until Christmas break. Speaking of Christmas, all traveling monies will be diverted to the Xmas fund this year, so I don't forsee another travel post until 2010.

What does that leave? Well, look at the photo below...

...I am stoked over the new Sherlock Holmes film...or at least the I am jazzed about the trailer. I hope that Guy Ritchie is back to making quality films and Robert Downey Jr. has been outstanding in most of his movies, lately. Yet, I can't help questioning this particular tie-in.

I mean, when I think of the Great Detective, I think about his deerstalker cap, the pipe, his brilliant skills of observation and ratiocination.

Yet, somehow taquitos never seem to enter the picture when it comes to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's favorite character. I don't know, maybe it's me and I do need "to get a clue."

And hey, here is another advantage to living in San Francisco...we have bacon potato chips.

No, not bacon and potato chips, bacon potato chips. Potato chips with bacon in them. Sweet!

Big in Japan...literally

2009-10-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

I first saw this in the Daily Fork this morning, the Whopper 7.

In honor of today's release of Windows 7, Microsoft is apparently teaming up with Burger King to offer a Windows 7 Whopper. The seven patty burger is being offered only in Japan, and will be available for the next seven days.

Unfortunately, from the looks of the ad below, this monstrous burger appears to be severely lacking when it comes to cheese. We say, if you're already willing to shovel about a day's worth of calories down your throat with a seven patty burger, what's a few hundred more?

Then they had a follow-up report that included a video from CNN.

In case the advertisement wasn't enough, here's some footage from CNN of the Windows 7 Whopper. Seven patties, 1.7 pounds of hamburger, 2120 calories, and yet it's not available in the US. What gives?

I could in theory, eat that. But I'm sure it would knock about forty minutes off of my life span and I just don't know.

Our Vegas Vacation Part III

2009-10-18T00:15:00.000-07:00

So Downtown Las Vegas used to be the place before The Strip was created and it has been a stepchild ever since The Strip hit its stride. I guess around '95 or so the powers that be decided that Downtown needed a makeover and a face lift. So they created the Fremont Street Experience by enclosing Fremont St. with a roof that doubled as a giant video screen.

Speaking of "experiences," this band did Jimi Hendrix covers in celebration of the 40th Anniversary of the Summer of Love. While the guitarist sounded more like a Hendrix-disciple in terms of style, ala Ray Vaughn or Trower, the band was tight and did Hendrix proud.

The Teen still isn't technically a teen, because he couldn't handle the music's volume. I loved the band, though besides the volume, we couldn't stay and watch because we were there to eat. Downtown is cheaper than The Strip overall, in terms of pricing.

Dude, Tony Roma's time! Not the greatest, but it is still a good solid chain food that you know won't let you down. Be forewarned though, the restaurants in this casino share their bathrooms! Now mind you, we were seated quickly, but I timed my bladder out for the bathroom to be nearer than it was and it was a real adventure trying to cut back through the crowd to get to the restroom.

Here is the Cowboy that you have seen in "Crime Story," "Honey, I Blew Up The Baby," Miller Genuine Draft ads, and so many others.

I have literally dozens more pics, but I keep putting off uploading them. When I get around to my next series of vacation pics, you will see a mall that is unlike any other...think Francis Ford Coppola's take on Casablanca. The city, not the film.

Seafood and seals at Half Moon Bay

2009-09-26T23:06:00.000-07:00

So The Missus wanted out of the house and out of town, what could I do? I thought let's go down the coast, but not too far. I Googled restaurants in Half Moon Bay and I picked the Princeton Seafood Company.

It was a quick drive once we got past 19th Avenue traffic and one right lane bandit determined that we should all enter the freeway at 40 mph.

When got to Half Moon Bay, what did we see?

A boat beached in the harbor.

Here's a little closer look at it. I don't know why they haven't removed it yet. Maybe the whole operation would probably be too expensive.

Here's another picture of the harbor. I don't know what's up with that warped picture effect, I guess my smart phone moves in mysterious ways, Bono.

This was just outside the Princeton Seafood Company on such a beautiful evening. Not too cold, which is rare for Half Moon Bay and there was no wind, which was even more rare. They serve good food, not great, but not as bad as some other restaurants that like to take advantage of people who show up for a beautiful view.

This sign says, "Dear Parents, All unattended children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy. The Management."

Is this from the prow of the "S.S. Milkmaid?" This cleavage looks bigger in the pic than it actually is, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten any eating done. They make a really big crab Louie salad, Elaine Benes.

This fella is just outside the restaurant.

It was still warm when we got outside. The pelicans were getting the last of their fishing in as we walked down the pier. It was too dark to get a good shot of the lighthouse and the break, so I'll have to do that another time.

This boat didn't have a roof and these two guys were working on it.

Whatever he was sawing or sanding provided a nice fireworks-like show. The sparks drew the attention of a pod of seals. Once they correctly surmised that there wasn't any food to be had, they caroused around under the pier. Half Moon Bay is a much nicer alternative to a staycation, when the weather permits.

Our Vegas Vacation Part II

2009-08-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

Well, it's good thing that there are so many things to do and see in Vegas, because walking will do you a bit of good after the buffets. I went in a fairly decent in-shape middle aged man and came out looking five and half months pregnant.

Avast, ye blog readers, heave to! A lot has changed in the fifteen years since The Missus and meself set foot in Vegas. The last time we were here, fifty mile an hour winds prevented the pirate show from going on at Treasure Island...

...needless to say, this isn't your parent's pirate show. Gone are the days where they had sword fights, muskets and one ship rammed into the other. Or at least that was the way the old show was described to me. I realize that everything has to change to attract a new audience, though the show I had described was not the show that my thirteen year-old saw.

The wind cries...who? The statue (is that what it's called? on the prow of The Siren's ship should be your first clue that once again, this is not your parent's pirate show.

This is your other clue that the show has changed. The major casinos had custom chopper with a theme to it. This one is for the "Sirens of Treasure Island," which is what the new show is called.

None of the custom choppers are street-legal. If you rode on one, at the first pothole or speed bump, the drive chain would rips the seat of your pants off...along with your seat and maybe your spine.

Sorry, my cell phone camera doesn't have zoom and this is the one time I wish it had a telephoto lens. Yet I guess their "siren song" can't be too effective, if they need those costumes. I didn't bother taking a picture of the pirates, though you could have had a good laugh at the one that was done up like parrot. Everyone lip-syncs their routine, which is understandable because you don't want to mike people with water and explosions involved. What I really, really could have done without was the dancing pirates.

So much for the "S.S. Dancing Pirate." The Sirens song that they used to sink it, was a combination "Don't Pay The Ferryman" and "The Immigrant Song." It not only sunk the pirate ship, it sunk my stomach too with its mediocrity.

Don't get me wrong, the women were pretty. I just prefer my pron...hardcore and with no dancing in it. I'm not a fan of soft-core reviews, though I understand they are Nevada's bread and butter. Yet I am not a fan of mixed genres and this was as mixed-up as tourist ralphing up his buffet after three too many drinks.

Either run a competent soft-core review or have a real action show, but don't make us stand around for thirty minutes, for a bad Britney Spears' video.

The rear view of the Sirens' ship and, uh, a pearl in a scallop shell?

This shot was from a pedestrian bridge, though you can't tell. The traffic around the strip was horrid.

This part of a monster mall that they have there, is it called "Fashion Island?" Hell if I can remember, I just like this pancake umbrella dome. Ah, the pic says "Fashion Show," let's go with that.

Looking out from The Pancake Umbrella Dome.

The vid screens there.

The next post will feature Downtown and "The Fremont Street Experience."

Our Vegas Vacation Part I

2009-08-20T18:14:00.000-07:00

And so it begins, "they're going to Lost Wages, Lost Wages." We flew Virgin America to Las Vegas and to borrow the slogan of a defunct airline, it's "the only way to fly!"

How do you guarantee a smooth flight?

With Le Tourment Vert, my first foray with absinthe. Even though I've seen "Bram Stoker's Dracula" at least three times, I forgot to add sugar to this stuff (you're supposed to filter it through a sugar cube and no, not Bjork. An actual sugar cube).

Still, the resulting buzz was outstanding and I recommend you try this when you fly, as it will make all but the worst turbulence a wonderful experience. You might need it, as the ride into Vegas can get bumpy. It wasn't the worst for me, yet a couple of people looked a little pale.

I had some unintentional fun when I remarked to The Missus "throw this away, Grumpy Bunny," just as the flight attendant walked by. Not that I call The Missus that odd term of endearment at all, I just said that to get a rise out of her, and I wound up getting rise out of the stewardess instead.

The outside of the Luxor hasn't changed at all and unfortunately, the interior has changed for the worse in one aspect; gone is the underground canal and barge, which was the basically the reason we came there in the first place.

Mind you, The Luxor is still nice...it's just that the canal made it better. I believe that when they opened The Venetian, that Vegas decided there was room for only one canal.

Do you remember cars in front of Ellis Island, because I sure don't.

A roller coaster winds all the way around the grounds of New York, New York. The Sahara has one that goes around the property too.

No, this picture is slightly different from the one two pictures above it.

Here is the bridge to New York, New York. The two advantages of the casino over the real version is the cleanliness versus the real thing, and cars/taxis can't run you over. Over course, it doesn't have the soul of the city, the affordable restaurants, the diversity of the various cuisines, and you can't go to dinner with Becky at the casino.

No Francis Albert, this lady blows on her own dice.

Above is the casino's version of Times Square.

This version of Greenwich Village is anywhere from one-third to one-half scale.

The door behind the table should give you an idea of the scale of this section. If you stood up, the door is about six feet tall, tops. The Missus said it best when she called the whole thing "ersatz" and that's what it is, it is just a version of the real thing that is alluring enough to draw you in. No more, no less, and it is devoid of the character and soul of the actual thing.

Have you ever seen the Greenwich Village this clean? This sterile?

As hard as you try, you will never be able to take a picture in any lighted area of Las Vegas without someone stepping into the shot, even at 4 AM.

Da Brooklyn Bridge.

This statue and the namesake of The Diabla Cantina, seems to be Coop-inspired.

The Cantina had Steely Dan going and the Monte Carlo Casino that the Cantina is adjacent to, was playing noxious disposable pop. When you walk between the two, it feels as if your brain is on fire.

A side entrance to the Monte Carlo Casino and this angle of the statue on the left seems more saucy than it is.

Don't you love Paris in the springtime? Well Jacques, this is Paris Casino in August and it's hot as b--ls, so, I'd imagine not!

Note the mini-Arc De Triomphe on the right.

Anthony Bourdain Survives Sandra Lee

2009-08-09T13:49:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this by saying I don't find Sandra Lee to be evil and that I have a semi-crush on her that keeps me from completely hating her for just reheating food on TV (for the most part). Yet, I'm not a serious chef nor do I play one on TV or on the Internet, and Anthony Bourdain certainly fits that description.

He had the misfortune/fortune to be ambushed by Sandra Lee and unlike his encounter with Emeril and his semi-homemade encounter with Rachel Ray, this left him slightly traumatized-

I'm paralyzed, wondering what the statute of limitations is on various things I may or may not have done twenty years ago. Sandra is talking. I know this cause her lips are moving and she's saying--overtly anyway, nice things. Like "You're a very naughty man," and she's chatting amiably with my wife... [I'm] frozen by the bizarreness of the moment which seems to go on forever as Sandra's hand wanders upward, tugs an ear lobe and asks if my ears are red yet. (They were.) Having had her way with me, she leaves the emptied husk of my carcass teetering at the table and moves on.

The rest is here at Eatmedaily.com, which should be your first stop every day for the best food blogging.

Will This Replace Coca-Cola In Terms of Soda Sales In Korea?

2009-07-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

Somehow I think asshat-ery of reality TV is crossing over into real life beverages. Just check out The Daily Fork's Ten Of The World's Strangest Beverages if you don't believe me. Some of them are fairly goofy, but I'll bring this one up because the company's name sounds silly-

-and so does the main non-water ingredient, kim chee. That's right, pickled fermented cabbage.
Cheers!

$150,000 A Year? Such A Bargain!

2009-07-03T09:42:00.000-07:00

Does this house look familiar to you?

The pic is from SocketSite.com

It's the house from Season One of Top Chef. It has five bedrooms and either four or three bathrooms, depending on which site you go to. All this can be had for the amazing low price of $12,500 a month. That's right, for a little less than someone pays for an entire year's rent on a house in Bum(expletive), Montana, that would pay for a month's rent for this fine joint.

Well, if you seen the show, you know that it has a nice roof garden and it photographs very well.

It's A Hot Dog And A Hamburger!

2009-06-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

Don't you just love the Internet? Just when you've thought you've seen it all, something else comes along and beats that convention up, like it owes it money.

First, do you remember that Saturday Night Live commercial?

"It's a floor wax."

"It's a desert topping."

"It's a floor wax!"

"No, it's a desert topping!"

"Well, you're both right, it's a floor wax and a desert topping."

Well, here's the summer barbecue equivalent to that, a "hot dogie-burger." It seems that back in 1963, "Better Homes And Gardens" put together a book called "Better Homes and Gardens: Barbecues and Picnics." In it was a recipe for a hot-dogie burger. That's right, gum your colon up twice as fast, with only half the effort.

Stephanie Butler at Eatmedaily.com resuscitated this recipe and she took pictures of it. Actually, the cooked result doesn't look half bad, though I don't have a barbecue or a yard to try this out. Maybe it's time to finally break down and get a hibachi.

BTW, shouldn't that be spelled "d-o-g-g-i-e?" Like Doggie Diner?

Or like "Augie Durante?" Er, "Augie Doggie?"

Author Mitzi Szereto Goes Prowling for Jellied Eels

2009-05-31T02:26:00.000-07:00

Forget that Andrew Zimmern creep, there is nothing bizarre about a man who would eat anything and everything served to up him (in front of a camera crew or not). Besides, he hardly works at it or works up to it. Do you really want to see brave? Author Mitzi Szereto braves, the rudest of London denizens, as well as the scary monsters and super creeps that scamper around the English capital, in order to find jellied eels.

Jellied eels, people.

Damn, you're a better blogger than I am, Gunga Mitzi. At any rate, here's the first episode of Mitzi TV, enjoy.

Liz Hickock Gets A Writeup In Chronicle

2009-05-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

Liz Hickcock got a writeup in the online version of the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday, and it's a good one.

Her latest piece was featured and there are YouTube videos of some of her previous works. Click the purple and take a gander.

Per Bacco For My Birthday

2009-04-20T10:07:00.000-07:00

Bacci, tabacci e venere
Riduce tutti i uomini
A cenere

"Bacchus (wine), tobacco and women
Reduce all the men
To cinders"

-an old Italian proverb

“Perbacco” is an Italian word to accentuate positive comments. It can also be an expression of pleasure and surprise, as well as a reference to Bacchus, God of Wine and “good times.” A fitting name for a ristorante so thoroughly steeped in the traditions of Italy, yet with a refreshingly modern feel and attitude. Perbacco introduces urban San Francisco to the full range of flavors found in the Italian regions of Piemonte and Liguria, with a touch of France by way of Provence.

-from the Perbacco site

Try as you might, you'll never get even one step ahead of The Missus, because she has you figured out through at least the year 2012...or so it would seem. The fourteenth of April was my birthday and as to just where we were going that day, was a secret to everyone but her, The Teen (formerly "The Kid" until this past March 31st), and the youngest Sister-in-law.

The youngest Sister-in-law hinted at it, but I didn't process the hint. So that evening, The Missus, The Teen and I piled into the car and headed Downtown. Where we going? I had no idea and right after we parked, we headed towards California Street.

Now was it going to be the Tadich Grill, the oldest restaurant still running in both San Francisco and California? Or was it to be Aqua? I stopped at each door, but The Missus kept going. Curiouser and curiouser, do I follow her down the rabbit hole? No need, we went to Perbacco and it's a good thing too, I don't want to deal with that Chesire Cat or the Queen of Hearts.

Perbacco is a wonderful restaurant, but be forewarned, the savory (it's not picante like it's Mexican counterpart) salsa verde that they serve with crostitini (bread sticks) will seek your clothing like a homing missile. Dip your crostitini and do not bring it towards you, but meet up with it over the plate or else you will wear it.

There is a wonderful decor there, but decor is the very last thing that I go to restaurants for. I'd gladly eat at a place that took over an non-renovated greasy spoon and left it as such, if the food were heavenly. Thank God this isn't the case, though the lighting is a little too dim in some sections.

I talked The Teen into ordering Cured Meats from the salumi. Which is comprised of lonza, culatello, lardo, coppa, and coppa picante. I had the cooked salumi plate which is comprised of mortadella, testa arrotolata, ciccioli, coppa cotta, testa, and fegatini d'anatra. Salumi plates have been the rage in San Francisco the past two years and nothing is better than cured meats that are made on the actual site. They don't serve the forgeries of Italian food that most supermarkets try to pass off as being Italian and they don't serve that old stuff that took the slow, slow boat from Genoa. Good gravy, the stuff just melts in your mouth, it's scary how much better something can be with just a little more work and care, with the freshest of ingredients.

For the second course, I had vitello tonnato, which was somehow more American in style, even though the taste was Italian. The slow-roasted veal was sliced thin like a carpaccio and like carpaccio, it was almost paper-thin. Again, you get the "melt in your mouth" effect. The tonnato or "tuna-ed" sauce had more of a lemon flavor than I have experienced in Italy. I'm not complaining, but I'm not certain if native Italians would necessarily like this dish in such an untraditional way.

The Teen had pappardelle, pasta ribbons (I believe they are homemade) with a short rib ragu. Again, the ragu is slow-roasted and this dish proves just why the world should follow the Slow Movement when it comes to food. There was no bone served with the dish, but you could tell that the meat was so tender that it fell off the bone.

For the third course, The Teen had beef short rib stracotto and like his pappardelle, this dish was fork tender and perfectly seasoned. He even loved the potato-parsnip puree and he pretty much hates all vegetables. I had the pork chops and Per Bacco understands that a perfect pork chop has just a touch of pink in middle. The fava beans that accompanied this dish were earthy and let's face, they were good, but I don't like fava beans (nor do I appreciate census taker's liver or chianti, th-th-th-th-plp).

The sole misfire for me was the pansotti, that The Missus ordered. It was pillowed pasta, stuffed with ricotta and I'm not sure what else, served with a butter sauce. Though it would be merely decent at any other restaurant, it was a dish that was way below everything else that they serve.

The deserts were on par with the rest of the menu, sublime and delicious. The waitstaff were friendly and attentive, not to mention, they save me the ordeal of enduring "Happy Birthday (To You)."

More Of Jaime Lauren From OurScene TV

2009-04-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, you don't have to be Stefan, to suffer from Jaime Lauren or Top Chef withdrawals.

Pic from 7 X 7 Magazine

Dan from OurScene TV emailed me another clip of Jaime and it's a juicy 90 seconds. As always on this blog click whatever text is purple and you are off to link land. You'll really enjoy this segment. Jaime talks about what she would cook for a date (nothing???), when she came out, who would play her if there was a "Top Chef" movie, and she chooses between Giada and Nigella.

Seriously, though, it's not a contest. Giada might have a slight edge in cooking, though you wouldn't know it from this old segment from TVgasm and the picture below...

...But Nigella? As I've said before...

...As I've said before, the shirt is self-explanatory.

BTW, if you don't laugh at TVgasm's Giada takes? You are either dead, or you're Giada.

Liz Hickok Takes DC

2009-03-28T12:10:00.000-07:00

Liz Hickok is back from from Delaware and, on along the way home, she took over Washington DC.

That's right, she was in charge of the most important house in America and she laid down the law, with Jell-O. Listen in on how she did it-

Hello!

I'm excited to announce the release of my new project The White House: The First 100 Days. The time-lapse video is my hopeful vision of the positive changes that the White House will go through with its new residents.

Three limited edition photos capture the transition from the moldy, shrunken house on day one...

...to the glowing, shining symbol that I hope it will become by day 100, with Obama in office. I have decided to print the smaller size of the photos in a larger edition than my San Francisco in Jell-O series, and to donate 5% of all net proceeds to a local DC charity. The video and photos can both be viewed on my website www.lizhickock.com, along with a other new videos you may not have seen.

If you would like to see the photos in person, and you are going to be in the Bay Area, you are invited to come to Mission Open Studios during the weekend of April 25th and 26th from 11am-6pm, with a special collectors’ preview night on Friday the 24th from 6 to 9pm. Find out the details and see some of the other artists in my building here.

Thanks so much!
Sincerely,

Liz Hickok

Yet, no only has she helped to give hope to America, she also fights crime in her spare time.

Baconfest

2009-03-28T05:02:00.000-07:00

Get yourself a case of Lipitor to get you through this post, because we are going to be talking about the bacon, the bacon, and nothing but the bacon. Apparently in San Francisco, there was a BaconCamp 2009 and it was devoted to all things bacon. Not just the food itself, but also the paraphernalia as well.

Where's Chris? He needs to see this...

We're talking bacon pillows and note the spinning game pointer at the bottom of the pic says...

..."What would bacon do?"

Dang, chocolate bacon cupcakes. I'm not entirely sure about this. No, seriously, where's Chris? He has tried chocolate with bacon in it. And where's the Bacon Lady? She missed out.

Bacon sushi, bacon band-aids, all kinds of things and people devoted the wonder salty meat. At least there wasn't a bacon dirigible...oh, the bacon-anity. Check out the slide show at SF Weekly.

Jaime Lauren Dishes On New York Food Spots.

2009-03-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

I'm going to be perfectly honest here, the only show other than "No Reservations" that I can honestly say I watch each and every episode? "Top Chef," and "Top Chef." Then there's "Top Chef," of course.

"Chopped" and "Chopping Block" are okay, but I don't consider them real "Top Chef" substitutes...apples and oranges, don't ya know? So how does one bridge their jones until the next season of "Top Chef?" With Jaime Lauren, of course.

Dan over at OurScene TV hooked us up with a clip of Jaime touring some of her favorite eateries in the NYC. We're talking Shake Shack, Porchetta (which I know the family anticipates going to on our next trip into Manhattan) and The Treats Truck. Also for Jaime fans, on the same page is a better interview than Jamie got in any of the San Francisco papers.

Mario Batali Puts Something New In Your Paella

2009-02-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

I should be blogging about Top Chef...especially right before the season finale. While my enthusiasm for the show has waned only a little bit, my enthusiasm for blogging about it is almost nil. This supposed to be a travel blog, yet our (the family, not the third person usage) traveling has been limited somewhat, and so has dining out experiences by some limits here and there to our budget.

So what is left to blog about? How about Mario Batali?

Don't get me wrong, I love Batali as both a cook and TV personality. His shows on the Food Network were often the only sound shows from a culinary standpoint, on a per episode basis. Alton Brown enjoyed going off on odd tangents and putting mustard where it definitely didn't belong. Rachael Ray? Don't get me started. Emeril was guilty as Rachael sometimes, of making dishes that made you question if they had actually tasted their efforts before conception or even after the shows.

Mario made good, solid Italian dishes throughout on all of his non-Iron Chef appearances and when the Food Network got rid of Anthony Bourdain, Batali's shows were often the only ones I would watch on Food Network for months after.

Yet, on the other hand, the man has his own line of Crocs...

Okay, I'll let that one go, yet he wears them with suits, too...

That is a negative, to say the least.

Even this salmon is saying, "Mario, give the Crocs a rest." So when I read this about Mario this morning-

The Associated Press

CORAL GABLES, Fla. -- The king and queen of Spain got a dash of profanity from celebrity chef Mario Batali at a $1,000-a-plate dinner during the South Beach Wine & Food Festival. At a Thursday dinner honoring Spain's growing international culinary presence, Batali dropped some royally naughty words as he hosted the event in the presence of King Juan Carlos and Queen Sofia.

Growing impatient when the crowd didn't quiet down quickly enough after he stepped to the microphone, he used the f-word and asked the audience if he could have "10 seconds of your time."

Batali dropped the f-bomb again while introducing chef Jose Andres, whose Los Angeles restaurant, The Bazaar, has been heralded by critics. He finished by grabbing Andres' bottom.
Those seated near the royal couple said the queen blanched. Gloria Estefan chortled. And Andres kept his cool.

"This is what food and wine from Spain will do to you," he explained.

Well, I love it when royalty blanches, though that was kind of crass. I'm also guessing from the f-bombs and groping, that it had a lot more to do with the wine of Spain, than the food.

The final verdict? Mario, keep doing what you're doing, keep your hands to yourself and please, lose the Crocs.

Halu Makes Good Kushi Katsu

2008-12-11T20:15:00.000-08:00

Is it kushikatsu? Or is it kushi katsu? As The Kid and I were coming back from Green Apple Books, there was a restaurant right next to the parking lot that caught my attention. Halu restaurant does ramen and if you have ever lived near a Japantown, you've probably had ramen. But have you had kushi katsu or yakitori?

I'm still trying to figure out if "kushikatsu" is one word, or two. "Kushi" is the skewer and "katsu" is the deep-fried chunk of meat. The Halu menu has it listed as two separate words and regardless, it is just insanely delicious. Dipped in panko flour and brushed with tasty sauces...

...here we have in order: salmon, ground chicken (which was the best of them all, sauce-wise) and flat steak. The sublime smokiness that permeates throughout the food, adds the most wonderful layer of flavor and it is better than the smoky flavor of American barbecue. Note, The Missus put the forks on the table because she didn't know what we were bringing home for dinner...I know how to use chopsticks.

The grilled eggplant was more to the liking of The Missus, along with the grated ginger.

Of course fans of the film Tampopo or ramen will tell you that the soup will make the dish, regardless of the quality of the noodles...

...Halu has both down pat. What Halu does better than any other Japanese restaurant I have been to, is win me over with their unusual decor. We are talking Beatles, Beatles and the Beatles. There is Beatles posters, photos, memorabilia, and even Beatles shot glasses. There are also posters of Hendrix and a Fender Stratocaster done up like a Hendrix guitar.

There are also surf music posters and gratuitous Beatles music playing while the smell of the food makes you dizzy with anticipation.

One Restaurant Closing In San Francisco That Will Not Be Publicized

2008-12-06T02:03:00.000-08:00

If you look at the Eater SF site, you will see both the temporary and permanent closings of restaurants in San Francisco. Yet there is one joint that you won't read about, except for here and quite frankly, I might be the only human that even knew about it. Do you see this house?

Now you say, "what restaurant?" No, there was a restaurant there, honest. The seating was atrocious and so was the service...reservations were out of the questions also...hell, they were non-existent. Come to think of it, so was the human clientele.

You see, it wasn't a human restaurant, but a fast food joint for crows. If you look at the "square" in the middle of the picture below, where the gray roof meets the cream-colored wall just above the rain gutter...

...there was a piece of metal that ran parallel to the lower gray roof. Some pigeons lived in there and every day, some crows would drop by to see if the pigeons laid eggs. I had tried to take pictures of this on several occasions, but by the time I got my camera out and the shade up, the crows would be gone.

At any rate, they re-roofed that house and closed off the hole, so no more pigeons and no more crows. I'm sure the crows have mixed feelings about this, knowing the ambiance and service sucked, but I believe they found the food was exceptional.

Who's Up For Crepes?

2008-12-02T08:05:00.000-08:00

As I have stated in the previous post, my traveling will be greatly reduced in the coming months. However, that doesn't mean that I can't have a nearby vacation. Who's up for crepes? The Kid and I hit Genki Crepes on Clement Street with a vengeance.

If you've never been to Clement St. in San Francisco, I pity you because you don't know what you're missing. It is like Chinatown, only you can actually get a parking place within a fortnight. You also have fine restaurants and take out places that feature Thai, Burmese, Vietnamese, Spanish, Persian, and Russian cuisines.

It was so dark and cloudy yesterday, that I had to put the camera on its "night" setting. Note the difference between these two shots of the store's front.

The couple that are seated there, started to get pissed off at me. Either they thought I was spying on them, or that I was going stalkerrazzi. I was just trying to get a clean shot without a vehicle or a bicycle not going by. Then someone had to get in their car and I lost my photo roost. Then a truck pulled up to unload food. This shot took four tries and a bunch of glares from those two.

First, note the crepe grills. Second, note the two parking places across the street. See? I told you there is parking on Clement St. and you'll never see two parking places in Chinatown.

Good gravy, look at all that Nutella goodness!

The cook layered lots of cheddar on my crepe. As you can guess from the name, Genki doesn't make crepes exclusively in the French-style. There is a Japanese and Chinese influence too. Their sweet crepes are slightly better than their savory ones, though temper that with the fact that I tend to prefer most of their savory crepes without the cheese.

Their selection of drinks is unbeatable. A dozen different kinds of Japanese cold teas, sodas, energy drinks, coffees, chais, etc... I always go with the San Pellegrino Aranciata.

He had a #11 which is a ham & cheese and I had a # 18 which is a chicken with sweet chili sauce and cheese. The chicken is excellent and it really doesn't need cheese at all, as it distracts from the Lingham-like chili sauce.

And afterwards?

Books for dessert. I used to think that Green Apple treated crime fiction like a stepchild, but in retrospect, it's better to have it at the Annex. There is more space for it and you won't get run over by angry people looking for the self-help section.

The Offiicial Slogan Of This Blog Is...

2008-12-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

Well, according to the poll, the official slogan of this blog is "while the world unravels, Cormac travels." Though I don't forsee a lot of traveling in my near future, this doesn't mean I won't any material to post about. A big thanks to everyone that voted.

RachellB has a good Bourdain post from a year ago, when Anthony visited the Google campus and among the tidbits was this gem-

Bourdain enjoys cooking competitions on tv, although he’s suspect of some of the “stars” like Cat Cora and he really hates on Rachel Ray. The only competition show he doesn’t like is Hells Kitchen, even though Gordon Ramsay is a friend of his. He thinks that the show is pointlessly cruel, and this coming from Bourdain, who is known to not sugar coat anything. He also thinks the contestants on that show have the technical abilities of mollusks.

He also added that he loves Top Chef. No surprise, since he appears on the show often. And he says Huang deserved to win, that his cooking was the best, and it doesn’t matter if he was mean or spilled truffle oil or whatever else he was accused of.

Why Not An Ostrich For Thanksgiving?

2008-11-26T23:00:00.000-08:00

What's that David Grohl?

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began

Oh, okay. So let me ask The Foo Fighters and yourself, what do you get when you cross Geena Davis...

...with Madchen Amick?

That's right, Ostrich Egg Girl!

I'm gonna miss Jill and not just because she's easy on the eyes, but because she might've tried to cook ostrich for the Foo Fighters Thanksgiving dinner and that would've been great TV!

I'm the voice inside your head

No, Dave, that would be The Missus, telling me to help her with the desserts for tomorrow.

You refuse to hear

Once again, that would be The Missus.

I'm the face that you have to face

I don't have to face you, the Top Chef contestants do.

Mirrored in your stare

Uh, we look nothing alike.

I'm what's left, I'm what's right

Wha, which are you? I thought you voted for Obama like I did.

I'm the enemy

I'm a little tired of listening to Nirvana on the radio, but I don't hate you man.

I'm the hand that will take you down

Bring you to your knees

Once again, incorrect, because that would be The Missus.

So who are you?

Cormac Brown.

Yeah, who are you?

Uh, Cormac Brown.

Yeah, who are you?

I just told you.

Yeah, who are you?

You've spent too many years standing next to the P.A. speakers or you just don't listen.

Speaking of not listening, you didn't listen to your tasted buds and your stomach, because Team Cougar should've won. They had the better turkey (all right, Ariane!) and the better flavor profiles. Though their execution was lacking a bit and...what am I saying? Jaime was on Team Sexy Pants! So go on, Jaime, and represent the Bay Area!

P.S. Danny is kind of turning into a bastard, will he be this season's villain? Because the show is really lacking a Marcel.

Is The Money On Radhika?

2008-11-21T20:24:00.000-08:00

The Missus has picked Radhika and hey, maybe she knows something, because her instincts are dead-on. She picked Obama to go all the way, before anybody else that I knew did.

I do know this, Ariane has pictures of somebody doing something that's illegal somewhere, 'cause she might be a good cook, but she's not a Top Chef.

I also know that Carla...

...looks just like Tracy Ellis Ross.

Is Carla, Diana Ross's secret love child?

Naw, kidding. At any rate, when I root, I'm a homer and I root for the home team-

Jaime? Get your spatula out and toss them like so much mango salsa!

Nigella, Just Because

2008-11-20T06:40:00.000-08:00

Nigella Lawson.

Not just as a contrast to the Padma post down below and not just because Gifted Typist brought her up, but just because...

Lucky pasta.

Who says the English are bland?

The shirt that says it all.

Should I Change The Blog's Slogan?

2008-11-19T07:17:00.000-08:00

My current slogan is "I travel, I eat and you get your daily serving of ellipses. What could be better?" Meh, not so hot. So I'm thinking of revamping it and you the reader, get to decide between-

A) "While the world unravels, Cormac Travels."

B) "The question asked on both sides of The Pond, 'is Cormac a "gourmet" or a "gourmand?"

C) "You can't spell 'cormorant' macaroni sculpture without "c-o-r-m-a-c," but why would you want to spell 'cormorant macaroni sculpture, anyway?"

D) "Cormac Travels and I didn't even get a lousy T-shirt."

E) "Cormac used to be young, fun and in no need of Tums. Now he's old, sick and he carries a box of Pocky sticks."

F) Or, do I stay with "I travel, I eat and you get your daily serving of ellipses. What could be better?"

Sigh, Anthony, Anthony

2008-11-17T16:11:00.000-08:00

Courtesy of Eater SF via the Broward Palm Beach blog Short Order, great quotes of Anthony Bourdain from the Miami Book Fair.

Bourdain to Mario Batali about Gwyenth Paltrow-

“Why would you take a trip through Spain with someone who clearly doesn’t eat?”

Mario replied-

“You weren’t available and she’s much cuter.”

Uh, yeah, Anthony? Gwyenth eats, she just doesn't necessarily "keep the food down." And after the birth of "Pear," er, "Tangelo," er, "Pomelo?" Whatever the kid's name is, she actually looks even healthy at times.

Short Order also says of Tony-

Bourdain also takes a stab at the Food Network’s very skinny Robin Miller, claiming that every time she reaches for the refrigerator door, he’s afraid that her frail wrists will snap….and that his daughter cries whenever she hears Robin’s voice.

Tony on Padma-

When asked about most foodies’ favorite cooking competition, Bravo’s Top Chef (his blog for Season 3 was nominated for a Webby), Bourdain said he was a huge fan of host and fellow chef Tom Colicchio but snubbed co-host and former wife of Salman Rushdie (?!?), Padma Lakshmi. Jabbing at the beauty’s intelligence, he said she wouldn’t be his first choice for Barack Obama’s cabinet…or to host a show.

'kay, do I actually have to explain this?

I value intelligence in women and I've never been with a woman that if she wasn't at least smarter than me by thirty IQ points, she was at least more clever than me.

But when it comes to TV shows, sometimes that just goes out the window. Other than the obvious, I didn't like Padma, yet she grew on me...and I honestly can't argue this out. Just look at the pictures, Tony. She's part of the set, ya dig?

Then Signore Bourdain really steps in it with-

"Spanish ham is far superior to Italian ham."

To wit, I reply, stronzo, che cazzo stai dicendo?!

(sh*th**d, what the f**k are you saying?!)

As usual, he always redeems himself in my eyes-

At the Food & Wine Festival and while a photo was being snapped for the Miami Herald, Bourdain, while standing near a picture of his beloved Rachael Ray, wrote the numbers 666 on his hand and placed it in front of Ray’s forehead.

Kids, Don't Park In Front Of The N-Judah

2008-11-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

So it's unseasonably hot tonight. Call it mild for a summer's night, Shakespeare, but warm for a night in autumn. The Missus, The Kid and I trekked down to Tart to Tart, only it was too crowded to stay. So we got our food and drinks to go, then we schlepped back home and we saw police cars speeding up Irving Street. What the?...

There was an N-Judah Streetcar stuck in front of the stop in front at UCSF and a police car was behind it. Another police car pulled in between the two vehicles and traffic was at a crawl in both directions. There were another two streetcars waiting behind this one and that is saying something, because they usually run about seventeen to twenty minutes apart.

The 71, the bus that runs parallel to the N was already running slow because of construction on Lincoln Way, so no one is heading Downtown any time soon. So what happened? Did someone have a heart attack? Was someone run over by the N, again?

Naw...

Someone parked their SUV just barely in the right of way of the streetcar. Munch and crunch. Note the dash-painted lines that show which side you should be parking or standing on. I've almost been hit by a streetcar a couple of times in my life, because I was dumb enough to forget that the trucks of the street car go one way, and the chassis can travel another.

A Muni track worker or Inspector is pulling the vehicle's body upward here, they had to get it off the tire. It was difficult to get a good shot, because the police and Muni workers kept walking in front of the camera. Hey, it's not like I can say "hey, forget about the emergency for a second, get out of the way and stop screwing up the shots for my blog!"

Kudos to everyone that helped to clear the area relatively quick, considering all the traffic that was already there from the Lincoln Way construction.

And dang, as of 11:18 PM, I scooped Greg Dewar! Excellent!

Uh, not like that will ever happen again.

Barbecuing...

2008-11-03T17:01:00.000-08:00

My Brother-in-law "J" turned me on to a new kick, dig it. I'm sure you've had a barbecued oyster, but have you ever tried a barbecue clam?

This past August over at his house, before he threw on a marinated London broil for us, he put some medium cherry stone clams on the grill. You just put them on the grill until they open up about a quarter-inch and you take them off the grill with some tongs. Now here is the important part, you have to let them cool for at least two minutes and please be careful, because they are hot!

Give them a dash of Tabasco, and you have an outstanding appetizer. "J" had regular Tabasco and Chipotle Tabasco.

To me regular Tabasco works the best, as it doesn't overwhelm it, but adds the flavor profile.

Who Will Think Of The Vegetables?

2008-11-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me well, will be the first to tell you that I am not one to judge others. I'm pretty much a live and let live type of person.

So when I say that Sylvester? You can do your bird role-playing all day long and I won't say anything disparaging about that...

...but when you make succotash suffer? Buddy, you are all wrong and you've got problems!

I'm not even getting into you tormenting that poor little yellow bird, because that's what cats do and I guess I will just have to live with that. No, pal, I'm talking about making vegetables suffer more than they already have to.

I mean look at "succotash," it's replete with lima beans and that in itself, already makes it one of the least desired vegetable dishes ever. Then look at that name, "succotash." The first phonetic of the word is the Algonquian synonym for the same word in English. And the "otash" in Algonquian means "I'm not eating this, let's give it to those asshat pilgrims and maybe they'll go back home to England."

In closing Sylvester The Cat, reasses your priorities and what you direct your frustrations on. Get help or it won't be the succotash that will be suffering, but you.

You Named A Restaurant "What?"

2008-10-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe my eyes when I was looking at today's paper online, the name of this restaurant up in Healdsburg, California..."Scopa."

The verb "scopare" in Italian means to "sweep." The more popular usage of said verb though, means to "f*ck."

So on your next date with an Italian national, tell she or he "I know just the right place for dinner" and be prepared to be slapped...or groped. There's no telling until you actually bring it up.

Yeah, go ahead and tell your Italian grandmother "I just ate at Scopa's last night." You better wear at least one earplug while you do that and don't be surprised by the unfriendly phone calls that you will get from the rest of the family, as an added bonus.

Top Chef Has No Love For The SF Bay Area

2008-10-08T09:45:00.000-07:00

So this morning I read in Tablehopper that executive chef of Absinthe, Jaime Lauren is going to represent San Francisco during the upcoming season of Top Chef. Excellent, and who else is going to represent the San Francisco Bay Area? Apparently, according to Bravo, Jaime and only Jaime. Whoa, it's like being snubbed by Michelin all over again.

Say, uh, Bravo, in which city did you kick this show off? It wasn't Los Angeles, the city that is too busy being "seen" to actually eat the food, when the people down there aren't sticking their fingers down their throats (manorexia, too!). It wasn't New York, the city that prefers the safe and proven stuff. Not to mention it is possibly the only city in America where it would cost more to film than...why, San Francisco.

Yes, the very city that accepted you, Top Chef, with open arms, and made no pre-judgements about your show. You know, the city that photographed so beautifully and gave you the perfect background for you to establish your show? Yeah, you know that city, yeah, that one. The one that you now treat like a red-headed stepchild.

San Francisco: Would it be possible for us to have more than one chef on the show?
Bravo TV: Shuddup!
San Francisco: But-
Bravo TV: I said "shuddup!" Do you want to taste the back of my hand?
San Francisco: All I was asking was-
Bravo TV: Do you want to taste the back of my hand?

Sniff. Fine Bravo, be that way. We (meaning the Bay Area, not the royal "we") might watch, but we won't watch happily.

As for Jaime? You may be from the NYC, but I will be rooting for you, and only you. Show 'em the back of your hand, girl!

A House Not Even Fit For A Lollipop Kid

2008-10-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

From Curbed SF

Remember the "Lollipop Kids" that welcomed Dorthy to "The Land of Oz?" Didn't they live in houses about as big as this?

Nine feet, ten and a half inches wide!

This makes my dinky two bedroom 760 sq. ft. apartment seem like the Taj Mahal. "Claustrophobia?" No, "ColeValleystrophobia."

The Omnivore's One Hundred

2008-09-26T23:39:00.000-07:00

Here is a foodie meme that was swiped from Christina Faust's Deadlier Than The Male, though I think I saw it first on Creepy's a couple of weeks ago and I should've lifted it off him back then. I did a list of fifty back in '06 that was more American-based than the one the Beeb did back then. This one below strikes me one that originated on the other side of The Pond as well.

The Omnivore's Hundred

Here's the deal: 1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions. 2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten. 3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.

1. Venison.
2. Nettle tea.
3. Huevos rancheros.
4. Steak tartare.
5. Crocodile (every restaurant in San Francisco that offers this dish, tends to close down before I get there).
6. Black pudding.
7. Cheese fondue.
8. Carp.
9. Borscht.
10. Baba ghanoush (my favorite vegetable dish and The Missus makes me a bowl for my birthday and for our Anniversary).

11. Calamari.
12. Pho.
13. PB&J sandwich.
14. Aloo gobi.
15. Hot dog from a street cart.
16. Epoisses (Je crois que je n'ai jamais mangé ceci, or "I believe that I have never eaten this").
17. Black truffle.
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes (is Boones' Farm still a right of passage amongst underage drinkers? Methinks not).
19. Steamed pork buns (part of the reason I live where I live, is the abundance of dim sum joints).
20. Pistachio ice cream.

21. Heirloom tomatoes (you can't eat any non-Asian restaurant in the Bay Area, without them trying to literally shove these down your throat).
22. Fresh wild berries.
23. Foie gras.
24. Rice and beans.
25. Brawn, or head cheese.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (why "raw?" Cooked I've had, but "raw?").
27. Dulce de leche.
28. Oysters.
29. Baklava.
30. Bagna cauda.

31. Wasabi peas.
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl.
33. Salted lassi (I've had mango lassi, but not salted).
34. Sauerkraut.
35. Root beer float.
36. Cognac with a fat cigar (separately yes, together? No).
37. Clotted cream tea.
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O.
39. Gumbo.
40. Oxtail.

41. Curried goat (yea, mon. Over here and in Jamaica).
42. Whole insects (not intentionally, though I eat about five gnats a day at work).
43. Phaal (I believe that I had this unintentionally. I ordered Vindaloo and they cooked it hot like Phaal).
44. Goat’s milk (and kefir too during my hippie childhood).
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more (I've had fifteen year-old scotch that cost that much, does that count?).
46. Fugu (I'm a parent, so this is off of my to-eat list)
47. Chicken tikka masala.
48. Eel (this comes with the sushi I order).
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut.
50. Sea urchin (never again if I can help it, it's the worst sushi next to clam).

51. Prickly pear (it's not memorable at all).
52. Umeboshi (I believe I had this when I was about eleven and I remember not liking it at all).
53. Abalone (this stuff used to be so common that my mom would get fried abalone sandwiches in Half Moon Bay and I'd have crab. Both cost only $4 back in the 70's!).
54. Paneer.
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal (not the meal, but unfortunately the sandwich).
56. Spaetzle.
57. Dirty gin martini (not "dirty, no).
58. Beer above 8% ABV (and for contrast? I've had the 1.5%, or whatever that water is that they serve in Utah).
59. Poutine (there's a place in Oakland that I'm going to try this at, though they make it without the authentic cheese curds. They also make #64).
60. Carob chips.

61. S’mores.
62. Sweetbreads (delicious, though I wouldn't touch them now in these mad cow days).
63. Kaolin (now does this mean "clay pot?" Because I've had clay pot cooked food).
64. Currywurst.
65. Durian.
66. Frogs’ legs (allegedly I had this when I was too young to remember, therefore it didn't make that much of an impression).
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake.
68. Haggis.
69. Fried plantain.
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette (ugh, never again).

71. Gazpacho.
72. Caviar and blini.
73. Louche absinthe (I'm saving this for when I'm at my Poe/Lord Byron/Gary Oldman as Dracula-days).
74. Gjetost, or brunost (I've had all of the nasty Norwegian, Swedish and Danish cheeses. All I can say is go Italian, people, go Italian).
75. Roadkill (why? All the wonderful fresh food in the world and they put this on the list?).
76. Baijiu (will this help me get in touch with my Hakka heritage?).
77. Hostess Fruit Pie.
78. Snail (more proof that everything tastes good with garlic and butter).
79. Lapsang souchong.
80. Bellini.

81. Tom yum.
82. Eggs Benedict.
83. Pocky.
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant (Michelin has no love for the Bay Area, though the bastards probably gave this hole-in-the-wall, the three-star treatment).
85. Kobe beef.
86. Hare (I've had rabbit. Once by accident and once on purpose).
87. Goulash.
88. Flowers (this was the "heirloom tomatoes" of the 80's, they put blossoms on everything).
89. Horse (insert 5th Amendment here).
90. Criollo chocolate.

91. Spam.
92. Soft shell crab.
93. Rose harissa.
94. Catfish.
95. Mole poblano.
96. Bagel and lox.
97. Lobster Thermidor (some day soon).
98. Polenta (one of the most abused food trends of the 90's.
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee.
100. Snake (it's on my to-eat list).

There are no strike-throughs, what does this mean, people? I'll pretty much eat anything thing that is served to me and that I negotiate strike-throughs on Blogger, anyway.

When You Think Marin, Think "Gelatin"

2008-09-21T02:12:00.000-07:00

From now on, when you think of Marin? I want you to think "Jell-o." Liz Hickok is going to do the Marin Headlands up right, as a sculpture. This time, not only can see her artistic process unfold, but you can help her out too. I'll let Liz tell it-

I have just started a Project Space residency at the Marin Headlands (just north of San Francisco), and my art studio will be open to the public 5 days a week through October 12th. Visitors are invited to help me create Jell-O towns and cities for my time-based sculpture inspired by Marin. So please come play with Jell-O and construct the future towns of Marin.

The general public can stop by my studio, located on the 3rd floor of the main building at the Headlands, during open hours:Tuesday-Friday, and Sunday: 12-5 pm

Sept 10th-Oct 12th

944 Simmonds Rd, Sausalito, CA 94965

For directions and more info:

www.headlands.org

During my 5-week Project Space residency (Sept 9-Oct 12, 2008) at the Headlands Center for the Arts in Marin, I will be creating a time-based and interactive Jell-O sculpture. I will be using the Sonoma-Marin Area Rail Transit (SMART) Project, a currently proposed public transportation system, as inspiration for the sculpture.

This piece creates an avenue to imagine and explore how the urban landscape may change and develop over time if the SMART train project passes in the November 2008 election. Each of the five proposed train stations in Marin will become an individual Jell-O sculpture that will be displayed along a model train line in my studio. Each day I may decide to work on a different hub and experiment with how it could develop. I will use satellite maps as a starting point, but instead of creating exact replicas of the towns, I will be using generic blocks and shapes cast in Jell-O to lay out the architectural scenes.

I have invited local urban planners and designers to collaborate on how they imagine a city or town center could develop. I am also asking visitors to create their own Jell-O buildings, using the Jell-O blocks that I have cast. As time passes, each Jell-O town center will harden and decay. I may tear down an old version to create a new one. This sculptural work-in-progress will not be an argument for any particular urban form but will ideally further the conversations around urban development. The fleeting material will also clearly visualize how our urban environments are alive and changing.

If you, or someone you know, would like to participate between September 15th and October 12th, please send me an email at liz@lizhickok.com. Or simply stop by during public hours.
If you are in the area, I would love to see you. Otherwise, please check my website soon for new pictures from my residency. www.lizhickock.com

So you see, not only do you get a chance to experience interactive art, but you can help change Marin for the better. And please, to all of you would-be Andrew Zimerns? Don't eat the buildings.

So I Tried Hamachi Kama

2008-09-12T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today was payday and in an effort to diversify The Kid's diet, we went to Kana. I don't agree with most of the Yelp reviewers, I like and in the cases of some dishes, even love the restaurant. The main thing that I love about the place is that it is the perfect restaurant to introduce a finicky twelve year-old to Japanese cuisine.

The Kid had hotate bacon, which is skewered scallops wrapped in bacon. Curried fish balls on a skewer and chicken teriyaki, with sashimi. We usually order an entree for ourselves and share a few communal dishes. Tonight the kid and I tried hamachi kama for the first time and while I could describe it to you, Metrodining will do it one better-

Hamachi Kama is the Scooby snack of sushi bars and seafood restaurants. When the chefs need a pick-me-up to sustain them through a long night of endless slicing and nodding to ignorant orderers, they know that the best part of the fish is waiting for them in back. Hamachi kama even appears on many menus and specials lists now that people have learned its secret.

The kama is the collar, or the area of the fish surrounding the first fins near the face of the fish. Unlike halibut cheeks though (halibuts are a flat fish, and the hamachi are round, or more accurately, fish shaped), this facial area of the hamachi is served with some skin and bone, especially bone.

It takes a dexterous hand with the chopsticks to pick out all of the morsels of meat nestled in the spider's web of bone, fin and flesh. But what you dig out is especially rewarding and worth all of the extra effort. Rather than being homogenous, the meat of the hamachi (also called yellowtail) collar varies tremendously from bite to bite; it can be firm or meltingly tender, a dullish gray or a dusky rose.

Regardless of texture or color, the flavor is incomparable. Up there with toro for its juiciness, the collar has a high component of fish oil, making it incredibly moist, both fattier and more flavorful than the fillets. Most often broiled and served with only the lightest brushing of glaze, the hamachi kama shines in its simplicity. The strong flavors of the fish come through, and the heat melts the natural fats of the flesh, which contributes to the high-impact richness of the dish.

"Yellowtail [hamachi] cheeks are very popular. It is a meaty area of the fish and it has a lot of flavor," says Keiko Sakuma, owner of Kaygetsu, a Japanese restaurant in Menlo Park. "We don't have a lot of it, but customers love it."

Sushi restaurants might buy three or four whole hamachi to break down into sushi and sashimi, and each one will yield only two collars. It is the lucky customer who gets to feast on this specialty portion.

Naomi Roda, an owner of Saizo restaurant in Sunnyvale, seconds this. "It is very popular; most customers really like it. There is a lot of customer demand for it." Both women also appreciate that this allows them to use more of the portions of the fish.

Well the hamachi kama we had wasn't dull and gray at all. It either had a solidity akin to the consistency of a good grilled ahi steak, or it was buttery and tender. I must say in terms of the fish itself, it definitely lived up to all the recent hype by all the blogs and magazines that have been toting as a wonderful experience.

You Hear About It...

2008-09-07T00:54:00.000-07:00

...I mean, you read about it and then, proof is provided by the Internet. Courtesy of the Heartless Doll, as printed in SF Weekly and brought to them via Laughing Squid, I give you the...

...Krispy Kreme Chesseburger.

Oh...hold on.

Wait...

Hey, Anne, where's the defibrillator?

...I think I've had a minor coronary, just looking at that picture.

You sure as hell know that you don't need a rabbi to tell you that ain't tref.

I Missed Out On The Slow Food Nation

2008-09-03T08:19:00.000-07:00

They had a Slow Food Nation gathering at Fort Mason and we missed out. I'm sure The Kid would've loved the Charcuterie Pavilion, but we're on a budget. As I checked out Eater SF to see what we missed, I noticed something about this picture...

...look at that fish in the bottom left corner, do you see it? Now move yourself to the right of your monitor...now move yourself to the left of the monitor. What, you don't see it? The fish's eyes, they follow you around the room. Oooooh, spooky!

The Baroness Triggers A Memory

2008-09-01T00:59:00.000-07:00

In a post, The Baroness said-

*International Curse Word of the Day: Muenster - some wretched French comestible, passed off as "gourmet" fromage, which is, in truth, rancid foot fungus scraped off of a marathoner's post-race sock, "smoked" over a Galois cigarette, then shaped into a misleadingly appetizing cheese wheel.

The sensory assault which ensues can only be expelled by either rubbing the side of one's tongue on a belt sander, or by a radical taste-bud-ectomy.

Ah yes, France. Most of memories of Paris were horrible, yet I still don't blame Parisians...mostly because they are Parisians. Because they live in such a wonderful city, they are in a way, petulant, existentialist teenagers bored on wine, and ennui. As a word, "jaded" doesn't even come close.

I haven't had Muenster in awhile, though I somehow don't remember it tasting much like we would imagine the monster family of the same name could. I do remember being in Paris during the year of Orwell and we went to a restaurant that literally had cheese on the walls. I mean in every free space, every alcove and all the way literally up to the rafters. Being the young ugly American that I was, of course I wanted a steak with fries, don't spare the steer, garçon. The best the waiter could provide was a salad with a little jambon.

The waiter did not appreciate my attitude, and everything went downhill from there. Let me just say that his English was superb, so he was used to Les Américains barbares. My problem was that French cheese for me, was just for appetizers and only appetizers. I wanted heartier fare...coq au vin, bœuf Bourguignon and the like. Not the appetizers and rabbit food that they dished.

I spent more time arguing than eating that night. Of course because of my age, I wasn't savvy enough to know that if you piss off the waitstaff or the cooks, you will get something undesired in your food. Then came desert and you know that I was still starved by then. If you also know this branch of Le Cuisine de France, then you know that half of the deserts available at that restaurant were cheese.

I didn't say it out loud, but he surmised from the look on my face was "again with the (expletive) cheese?" I ordered ananas, which in my nineteen year-old mind equaled "bananas" and if you had just one year of French in junior high school, you'd think the same thing to...that, and Madeline Alvarez looked hella hot in that sweater.

The word next to ananas? I couldn't read it though in retrospect, it was probably sorbet. God, I'd like to go back into a time machine some twenty-four years and just slap some sense into myself. So he put this small dish in front of me and I said where is the ananas?

"They are right there."

I'm looking for bananas. I envisioned something similar to bananas Foster.

"C'mon, don't mess with me, where are the ananas?

"There...right there. There! La!"

Words and gestures were exchanged...and for short time, cutlery was almost involved. No the police weren't called, although now? I wouldn't even dare to walk within a block of that place, as I imagine that they still have a picture of me up in the kitchen with these words-

Cormac est voulu mort...or mort! Le coût n'est pas d'objet !
(Cormac is wanted dead...or dead! Cost is no object!)

I Saw A Celebrity And His Posture Was Perfect

2008-08-31T14:12:00.000-07:00

"Sure baby, mañana." It was always mañana. For the next week that was all I heard--mañana, a lovely word and one that probably means heaven.

Page 94 of "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac

This passage is especially fitting, since I've put off this post for nearly a month now. Soooo, I saw a celebrity and his posture was perfect, Warren Zevon. Just who was he? You'll have to get to the bottom of this absurd post to find out and no scrolling past the lumpy gravy or you'll miss out on a feast of a tale.

For the first time in my life, I have actually contemplated moving back East. I was happy, being there with my in-laws and while I don't know where I am in Manhattan half of the time, at least I am never truly "lost."

I do find it odd that people cannot divine inspiration from the normal chaos in their lives. Kerouac and so many before and after him, had to discover the vast wide spaces of America, to discover themselves and their writing voices. I have found that being in the middle of nowhere does nothing for my inner narrative nor does being around stable people that I love.

If anything, it is the exact opposite. I write best in the City of Saint Francis...stepping over the junkie panhandlers with their pit bulls. Dodging obnoxious yuppies, SUVs, bullets, prostitutes, trannies, and street preachers. This is where I write best.

Recalculating...

That's the voice of the Garmin GPS when you don't take the given route. Sometimes it's fun just to make a wrong turn, just to hear that voice say "recalculating..." Sometimes it's completely accidental, because other drivers won't let you over. Though at one point, the thing got made at me when I didn't take prescribed route and I stayed on Main Street, so it tried to send me to the other side of town.

I mean, what if I drove the car into the Long Island Sound?

Recalculating...

Car does not belong in water, please turn back.

Recalculating...

Please unplug me and throw me back towards the shore.

Recalculating...

I don't like water, please, throw me back to the shore before it is too late.

Recalculating...

Look, you bastard, either you toss me back to the shore, or I will shock you with every bit of electricity that's in the car's battery!

On our last night in New York (that is Long Island), I was driving my Mother-in-law's car and we didn't have the Garmin because that came with the rental car, we got lossssst-ah. One of my Brother-in-law's gave me an exit number which I became fixated on and needless to say, we were on the wrong freeway for that particular exit.

No problem, we only overshot our destination by a couple of towns and I had managed to negotiate a nice detour through the Miracle Mile. I recognized the corners, but most of the stores have been completely revamped. The thing that gets me is that the Missus rarely knows where we are, whenever get east or south of Hicksville and she lived here some eighteen years. I guess she is truly a California girl now.

And now? The finale-

So we flew Virgin back and we hit a bit of a bottleneck going through security. It seems everyone was flying that Saturday and the line was a little exhausting. We bought some food, because The Kid doesn't like the roast beef wraps that Virgin serves up and we sat down.

There's a guy sitting across from us who seemed fairly non-descript in a person-watching sense, I didn't see anything I could draw from him, writing-wise until I saw what he was reading. It was a magazine about fantastical and mythical creatures, and this magazine seemed to be pushing these creatures as real. This gentlemen had the magazine folded over and the page that was facing me, had an article about the "The Cat Woman of Brazil."

So my eyes wandered up from the magazine to see who would read this stuff, I knew that it wasn't John Carlucci, because I've seen a picture of him on Facebook before he took it down, though John would've been my first guess. As I looked up, I recognized this guy and my eyes bulged out like a Tex Avery cartoon, good gravy! An Oscar-nominated actor was just sitting there reading this magazine and he had a look on his face like "crap, I've been recognized!"

I opened up my cell phone and was careful not to make it seem like I was taking a picture, and thus, spooking the guy. I typed a message into my cell phone and showed it to my wife...

Don't look up right away, be cool. Paul Giamatti is sitting right across from us.

She looked up after a few moments, very casually, but he knew we were going to be staring at him from here on out. I was so trashed from the trip, that I completely forgot "American Splendor" and "The Illusionist," or I would've pestered him right away. You see, I believe that celebrities should be left alone, it's just the way it's done in New York and that was the way it used to be done in San Francisco, back when we were the playground to the stars before Vegas.

The two main reasons why I didn't recognize him right away, was because his posture is so much better in person. So much so, that you realize that he is hardcore method, the guy gets completely into character when he is on screen. He also looks much better in person to the point that he can pretty much travel incognito, as long as no one studies his face for more than a few seconds.

You'd think that I was the only one, John Lennon, but no one else recognized him right away either. I pointed him out to The Kid, who only knows him from Big Fat Liar and The Kid was suitably impressed. I tried to get The Kid to ask him for an autograph, because I'm a coward like that. The Kid wouldn't do it. In retrospect, I should've threatened to cut off his XBox 360 privledges to force him to get that autograph, because I'm a bastard like that.

Paul was trying to stay below the radar as much as possible, he sat in the third to last row, instead of First Class. He had his headphones on the whole time and the few times I got up, either to use the restroom or let The Missus or The Kid back into the seats, he wasn't talking to anyone nor was anyone bothering him.

We landed at LAX for our stopover and I called Katie about my Giamatti sighting...she of course wasn't home. She has a life and stuff, so I left a message. Then of course Paul walks right by just as I hung up. I was going to get his autograph, but The Missus said to leave him alone and you figure that if someone waits that long to leave a plane, they don't want to be bothered.

An elderly Indian lady in a sari recognized him right away and he smiled at her. This was a fitting ending to a brief quasi-surreal encounter.

Paul: You want to know true terror? I survived a flight with Cormac Brown.

Into The Trailer Park

2008-08-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

Suddenly I found myself on Times Square. I had traveled eight thousand miles around the American continent and I was back on Times Square; and right in the middle of a rush hour, too, seeing with my innocent road-eyes the absolute madness and fantastic hooair of New York with its millions and millions of hustling fortaking, giving, sighing, dying, just so they could be buried in those awful cemetery cities beyond Long Island City.

Page 106 of "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac

I always get turned around in Times Square and this trip was no acception. We were looking for Jamba Juice because The Kid for the most part, still doesn't eat his vegetables. We couldn't find it and it turned out that I herded us one block short of where it actually it was. This would happen again and to make things worse, Starbucks's fruit shakes were fairly horrid and Jamba was giving out two-for-one coupons for just that day.

We were staying at Holiday Inn near Columbus Circle, when I told everyone before we got to New York that we would be near Times Square. I emailed Coaster, Chelene and Becky the Friday before we got there, to ask them all out to dinner (just like last year).

Coaster was the first to respond and he was to be in Boston on Tuesday night and he and George had another engagement on Wednesday. Becky was the next to respond and her calendar was so full that it seemed like she would be exhausted for Tuesday. So I suggested Wednesday instead.

Chelene was the next to respond and Tuesday seemed difficult. So it looked like Wednesday and I left the choice of restaurants up to them. Tuesday, The Missus, The Kid and I went to Mama Sbarro's which is like Sbarro's, only with better food and some of the dishes are even good. I am a sucker for hearty Italian fare, so it doesn't have to great everytime, but cooked as if some Italian mother put some amount of love in the dish.

Becky came up with Trailer Park Restaurant, which is a fun little dive in the Chelsea district in Manhattan.

A hip little exterior, right? Chelene couldn't make, major work changes both that night and the next day. The wonderful Becky did show and they were both patient, as this required more phone tag than I would've liked, as I don't have the Internet on my phone.

If you look at the top left of this picture, you'll see the official "Trailer Park T-shirts and panties." The Missus said she was going to get a pair of the French cuts with the slogan and I said "hell-to-the-no!"

There are about eight tables in the joint and only four of them could seat our party of four. These faux hipsters were just taking up space, neither eating or giving up their seats. Let's see, I will coin a new phrase for them...let's see, faux + hipster = "fipsters?"

We talked to Becky for a bunch and we tried to tough it out for one of those precious tables. Becky and I agreed that Bubs would love Trailer Park.

Elvis has arrived at the building! So what do you say, Bubs, would this place make your list? We got sick of waiting and we made for Dallas BBQ. They have pretty good food and seats. Go figure.

Becky was a blast to talk to. She was nice enough to put a stay on the restraining order she has out on me. You already know that she is up on all things pop culture and she really knows her 70's music.

This restaurant serves nothing but "burgers and cupcakes." Insert your own dirty joke here. Unfortunately I dashed down the street when we left Trailer Park to take a picture of this...

It's the famous Hotel Chelsea!

Just looking at this place makes me want to write or something and I'm not entirely sure just why. Either that or shoot heroin while the ghost of Cornell Woolrich hovers over me. I'm pissed because I ran down the streets to get a picture of this and I didn't get a picture of Becky and us together.

I mean, it's Blogger tradition, ya know? Well, here's the one from last year to make up for it...

On the next post? A celebrity encounter of the worst kind.

Cormac Brown came out to Long Island...

2008-08-11T15:46:00.000-07:00

...in the back room, he said "don't touch me! Get lost!"

C'mon Cormac

Take a walk on the mild side

I said hey Cormac

Take a walk on the mild side

We went to Jones Beach last Monday, the Mother-in-law rented for us a Mitsubishi Endeavor and the Avis supplied a Garmin GPS for us. The Garmin was pretty nice overall, though it had its difficulties with the antiquated freeway lanes and on-ramps from the 1930's that populate all of Long Island.

By the time it said "stay to the right," it was almost too late and the actual global positioning could be a little off...but so are the Google Maps on Virgin Airlines, which have you traveling too fast sometimes when you are cruising up to the airport terminal, or have sitting too high when you are just coasting on the runway.

The Mother-in-law gave us a Barnes & Noble giftcard and we tried our best to redeem it at the nearest B & N that the Garmin had given us...but that location was actually a cemetery, across the street from a Pizza Hut and right by Eishenhower Park. Go figure. The other address on Country Road was "oh, so wrong" as well. We finally made it to this one, no help from Garmin who I believed was hacked and their directory filled with bogus information.

The Garmin did get us to Jones Beach just fine...

They have a lot of garbage cans there. Check the clouds, they stayed nice and high, and kept the heat down.

We don't have green flags for the areas that are permissable to swim at in Northern California. There is usually a sign saying "no swimming." We also don't have the same amount of lifeguards, they went away with Proposition 13 and they haven't been back.

See that The Missus was looking down? She was on the hunt for sea shells, though she wasn't going to sell them by the seashore.

She found them and they will be come jewelry.

Look a shark egg! There isn't as much seaweed as there is in California, but we saw more shark eggs than usual.

"There will be no recreating Lawrence of Arabia here!"

The clock tower is really to far away to see. There is the amphitheatre next to it and see what I mean? I told you that there are way too many garbage cans...though they will probably come in handy for Labor Day weekend.

Cormac Travels Tramples Testy Trifling Tourism Touters

2008-08-10T00:03:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is a traveling blog, but that doesn't mean that I cannot cover other things that are travel-related. And no, please don't jump to the conclusion from this post that I have a problem with Canadians, my problem is with the Canadian Tourist Board. They are simply not trying.

Oh, they are spending money, but they are just half-assing it. Witness below...

"Found new world cuisine amid old world charm." A wonderful slogan, though if you are going to put an ad about food up in San Francisco, try actually putting food in the ad. A salad from the local supermarket, coupled with some fish scraped off a pan, would not entice even someone from the Velveeta-chugging suburbs of the San Francisco Bay Area, to go to Canada.

This ad says even less about Alberta...

...come to Alberta and see our unusually large "Step Brothers" posters!

Actually, this is what happens on the American end, when only half of the ad is taken down. Down below is the ad in its entirety...

What it says is "who knew that blogging was so popular 3,000 years ago?" Well, if you had the carvings translated, you'd know why...

Yesterday afternoon, I believe that the Kiowan Bear Lady gave me a bad batch of bear stew. When I confronted her about it, she said "oh, I must not have completely rinsed out the deer urine I used to clean that pot. No problem. Come back tomorrow and I'll give you a slightly different bowl of bear stew."

So Canadian Tourist Board? Please, give it a little effort and not like this, but a real effort.

(amended) I Come From The Land Of The Pale Blue Legs

2008-08-09T17:11:00.000-07:00

Alternative name for the post? "While the world unravels, Cormac travels."

So we embarked on our trip from the Land Of Pale Blue Legs (tourists who expect San Francisco to be warm during the summer, ha!) to The Island Of Long.

The shuttle van for the airport was on time...we were not. Minus one Karma Point. As we put our luggage in the back, there is a German woman in the driver's seat and people, she was not the driver. She was on her cell phone, shrieking into it...when she wasn't shrieking at the driver. Long story short, she didn't leave herself enough time for an international flight and somehow is everybody else's fault.

The Missus was convinced that the woman was Danish and my wife has certainly spent more time with Danes that I have. In retrospect, I believe that the woman was from Apoplecxia. She was quite a multi-tasker, hounding the driver and shouting at whoever she was talking to on the cell phone while looking for a taxi cab to jump ship to. The poor shuttle driver found a taxi before she did and we pulled over in somebody's driveway.

She ran off to the cab and a silent cheer went up throughout the van. Silent because no one wanted to break the new wonderful silence, Depeche Mode.

At SFO...

The family that wears travel head rest pillows together, shall be mocked for wearing travel head rest pillows together. Take them off and carry them like anyone with common sense would, dorks!

One day soon and though it probably won't even make the papers, the flight attendants for Singapore Airlines will all look like a bunch of polyester pirates, because of the eye patches that they will be wearing. They insist on tying the scarfs they wear into a bow with highest part of that tie sticking up at above chin level. Conceivably they could lose half of the flight crew, just bending down to fast and picking things up.

we watched a KLM plane unloading packages and parcels both in containers and plastic-wrapped/cargo-netted to a pallet. These pallets would then go on this articulated platform that would control the direction of the pallets by turning the wheels underneath them.

Guess what came out of the 747 next? I'll give you a hint, it's bigger than a baby's arm...

...and unfortunately, my in-laws computer won't let me upload the f*cking thing. Arrrggghh!

Trust me when I say it is fairly fantastic and you'll have to wait until I get home to see the thing.

(amended version) and here it is, a Lamboghini Gallardo!

Is that cool or what? The person who owns this must have made their money off of Ikea.

We flew Virgin American, mostly because I was scared that the other airlines would go belly up in between booking the flight and the actual flying. Virgin is cool, you get your own MP3 player, Television playing live TV, movie player, and you can even chat with your seatmates (though the keyboard is tricky).

There is light pink and purple neon lighting just like in a nightclub and you can order food or drinks at fifteen minutes after take off all the way up until fifteen before landing. The flight attendants are re-laxed and if not for having to wait a year for our luggage because Virgin had to share the luggage carousel with another Virgin flight and two other airlines, I would say don't bother flying with anyone else. But standing around JFK for thirty-five minutes waiting on just two bags of luggage, is not my idea of fun.

The Mighty Quin Speaks

2008-08-05T08:35:00.001-07:00

When Quin found out via email that I am in New York and with rent-a-car, she dispensed the following advice...

"Just remember, when driving in new york... that middle finger they are holding up does not mean you are #1 to them."

And So It Begins Anew

2008-08-02T01:30:00.000-07:00

So as I begin this new chapter in blogging, I look to the spirit of Jack Kerouac for guidance by reading "On The Road" for the first time in my life. I don't know why I chose this book in particular, other than the title came to me while I was at the bookstore. I was looking for a diversion from my usual steady diet of crime and mystery fiction.

I am the polar opposite of Kerouac in every sense of the word...

I am still on my first marriage and happy to be so. I have done everything possible to stay in my hometown, even though it is becoming nearly impossible financially. Rarely do I imbibe, though if I'm on vacation and I'm not driving, that will be the most likely time that I will. Not to mention I have never hitchhiked nor have I seen the Midwest, outside of various stopovers in airports.

The one thing I do have in common with Kerouac is the desire for kicks. For the experience of that which is unique, that which is different. I search for the thing that spurs the mind and all of the senses into a full gallop.

Alas, the spirit of Kerouac has left me on my own for now. He said "Frisco" one time to me and one time is one too many. So I will be without the spirit of Jack to guide me, but I will not be alone. The Missus and The Kid will accompany me on most of my misadventures. As always, I will be my stoic, detached and snarling self...ever on the cusp of turning into an anti-social misfit. It's what I do people and damn it, man has to do something in life.

Fortunately for America and the rest of the world, The Missus is here to balance all of that out.

Cormac Travels

Lost Food in Translation

A new blog

Cajun pulled pork time

Look-alike?

Goodbye, Superstarrr

Happy New Year and, "Is This What Makes Women Truly Happy?

Liz Hickok in the NYC, and in Vegas

Katherine Tomlinson's anthology "Just Another Day In Paradise" is here!

The October Flash Frenzy has begun!

Liz Hickok Takes On Manhattan!

Nice, er, r...

Five & Ten

Pizza in a cone?

Here comes The Real L Word

The Premiere Issue of Dark Valentine is here!

Ray-Ray as Sybil

Mario, don't eat that cheese!

Spring is here, and so is Liz Hickok!

Yo, "peep sushi?"

I love Dailyfork.com

Marcel, SyFy, coincidence?

Why am I always the last to find out?

Liz Hickok's Holiday Open Studio

Top Chef, WTF?

Uh, would you drink that?

How neglected is this blog?

Big in Japan...literally

Our Vegas Vacation Part III

Seafood and seals at Half Moon Bay

Our Vegas Vacation Part II

Our Vegas Vacation Part I

Anthony Bourdain Survives Sandra Lee

Will This Replace Coca-Cola In Terms of Soda Sales In Korea?

$150,000 A Year? Such A Bargain!

It's A Hot Dog *And* A Hamburger!

Author Mitzi Szereto Goes Prowling for Jellied Eels

Liz Hickock Gets A Writeup In Chronicle

Per Bacco For My Birthday

More Of Jaime Lauren From OurScene TV

Liz Hickok Takes DC

Baconfest

Jaime Lauren Dishes On New York Food Spots.

Mario Batali Puts Something New In Your Paella

Halu Makes Good Kushi Katsu

One Restaurant Closing In San Francisco That Will Not Be Publicized

Who's Up For Crepes?

The Offiicial Slogan Of This Blog Is...

Why Not An Ostrich For Thanksgiving?

Is The Money On Radhika?

Nigella, Just Because

Should I Change The Blog's Slogan?

*Sigh*, Anthony, Anthony

Kids, Don't Park In Front Of The N-Judah

Barbecuing...

Who Will Think Of The Vegetables?

You Named A Restaurant "What?"

Top Chef Has No Love For The SF Bay Area

A House Not Even Fit For A Lollipop Kid

The Omnivore's One Hundred

When You Think Marin, Think "Gelatin"

So I Tried Hamachi Kama

You Hear About It...

I Missed Out On The Slow Food Nation

The Baroness Triggers A Memory

I Saw A Celebrity And His Posture Was Perfect

Into The Trailer Park

Cormac Brown came out to Long Island...

Cormac Travels Tramples Testy Trifling Tourism Touters

(amended) I Come From The Land Of The Pale Blue Legs

The Mighty Quin Speaks

And So It Begins Anew

It's A Hot Dog And A Hamburger!

Sigh, Anthony, Anthony