Lost Food in Translation

In terms of language, English and Chinese are worlds apart. We're talking about pronunciations, structure, logograms versus the English version of the Latin alphabet, and of course, idiomatically. So when I post these signs on this blog, I am not making fun of Chinese immigrants (as my great-grandmother was Cantonese-Hakka), as I am making light of the fact that the restaurant didn't bother to get these signs translated properly.

Mmm, beef tablets. They'll cure your headache and your hunger.




Ah yes, there's no fun, like "Dried Fried Beef Ho Fun." "Fun" is an apt name by the way, as these wide noodles are just that.

Sour little toes with ginger? Sounds like French-Chinese fusion to me.

A new blog

Hey, my friends John and Jinn have a new food review blog up.




Check it out.

Cajun pulled pork time

Ladies and Gentlemen, my new best friend is our Hamilton Beach programable Stay or Go Slow Cooker. I started out last Saturday with chicken adobo, and I made another batch on Monday. So, I wondered what to make next and I stumbled onto this recipe for Cajun pulled pork.



This picture isn't the most flattering one in the world...

...and this one makes the meat look a lot more pink than it actually turned out. The beauty of the slow cooker is that if you work at night like I do, you can set the thing and go to sleep, and your main course is ready when you wake up.

This, is how it actually turned out. I would add about a little less than a tablespoon to the spice rub, but otherwise, it was a perfect recipe. Laissez les bon temps rouler.

Look-alike?

Well done, Top Chef, bringing back past season champions to compete against the finalists of Top Chef All-Stars. The quickfire didn't quite pack the excitement that I thought it would, but I still enjoyed it. Of course, it didn't help that a certain notion kept distracting me while I was watching Mike Isabella take on Michael Voltaggio...




...you see, I wasn't totally convinced that it was Michael Voltaggio!



What am I talking about? I'll put it to you this way...

...why don't you ever see Tony Hawk and Michael Voltaggio in the same place?

Eh?

Eh?

Yeah, thought so.

Goodbye, Superstarrr

So it's official, according to Eater.com, Kelly Choi will not be back for the third season of "Top Chef Masters." The following image accompanies the article...

Oh c'mon, Eater.com, she isn't that bad. Sure, she could stand to eat a cheeseburger...or five.

This pic is pretty much as close as she allows food to get near her. Still, who else will read the judge's ratings with such an exaggerated aplomb?

"Susur Lee, the judges gave you three and-a-half staaaarrrsss!"

Happy New Year and, "Is This What Makes Women Truly Happy?

Well, Happy New Year! For all intents and purposes, I have completely forgotten about this blog. Mostly because my other blogs, writing and the holidays have taken up the majority of my free time.

On the other hand, I have discovered what makes women truly happy. If you pick up any women's magazine or watch any channel that is geared towards the fairer sex, the advertisements play upon the insecurities of women...both real and imagined. Yet, there is one recurring item that will make the better half of the world consistently happy.

Are we talking about marriage? Those that have walked down the aisle (including The Missus) will tell you that it is not always what it has cracked up to be.

Is it jewelry? I'm sure De Beers would like you to think so, but some of the most miserable women that I have ever known were adorned with some of the finest baubles.

Is it chocolate? Weight-gain, acne and weight-gain beg to differ.

No, we are all over-thinking this, and the answer is right in front of our faces-

That's right, salad.

You heard me, I said, "salad." Think about it for a second, every newspaper, print or TV ad depicts women in rapturous bliss with a plate of greens or fruit.

Of course, using crushed Xanax in lieu of croutons certainly helps. Take the gal above for example, she's been t*ssing that salad for six continuous hours and she's on the verge of getting carpal tunnel syndrome. This epiphany was inspired by Thehairpin.com, and they have all kinds spoofery devoted to skewing the culture of women's magazines.

Liz Hickok in the NYC, and in Vegas

Please, don't forget about Liz Hickok's next two appearances-

New York City: You Are Here → Mapping the Psychogeography of New York City

September 24 – November 6, 2010

Pratt Manhattan Gallery

144 West 14th Street, 2nd Floor

Gallery Hours: Tuesday–Saturday 11 am to 6 pm

Artists: Kim Baranowski, Ingrid Burrington, Dahlia Elsayed, Jane Hammond, Hand Drawn Map Association, Liz Hickok, Maira Kalman and Rick Meyerowitz, Nina Katchadourian, Daniela Kostova and Olivia Robinson, Miranda Maher, Bill Rankin, Liz Scranton, Asma Ahmed Shikoh, Robbin Ami Silverberg, Jeff Sisson, and Nicola Twilley.

Las Vegas: Off the Strip, New Genres Festival

October 17-21, 2010

Contemporary Art Center, Las Vegas, Nevada,

Her video will be part of a screening at the Sci-Fi Center on Friday, October 15th, 7:30 pm

Sci-fi Center, Commercial Center: 900 E. Karen AvenueLas Vegas, NV 89109

Katherine Tomlinson's anthology "Just Another Day In Paradise" is here!

Life in the big city is not for the faint of heart. Shadows lurk in sunlight; blood spills on floors; hope and dread are just two sides of a neon sign; and loneliness is a paper cut on the heart, an invisible wound that eventually kills. In these stories, Katherine Tomlinson explores the dark heart of urban living. It is what it is...Just Another Day in Paradise.

Information on this outstanding anthology and a sample of the first ten pages are right here at Smashwords.com.

The October Flash Frenzy has begun!

Thirty-one days.

Thirty-one stories.

Thirty-one illustrations.

This will be an October to remember. Starting today, October 1st, Dark Valentine Magazine will post a new story a day. The frenzy begins with a real chiller, “Animal Lover” by Kat Parrish. It's illustrated by Mark Satchwill, and the frenzy will end with a Lovecraftian tale by Barbara Emrys, also illustrated by Mark Satchwill. You won’t want to miss a single story.

Liz Hickok Takes On Manhattan!

It was inevitable and it certain has been a long time coming. Liz Hickok has captured Manhattan-

As usual, I will let her tell it because not only does she have a way with art, but also with words-

Hello friends and supporters,

I wanted to let you know about three upcoming shows and events happening across the country.

In New York I will be constructing a jellied model of the skyline of Lower Manhattan, including the Statue of Liberty. It will be the largest sculpture I've ever made.

For Fall Open Studios, in San Francisco, I will have on view a smaller version of the New York sculpture.

My new piece about suburban Las Vegas in Jell-O is in a video screening in Las Vegas.

I hope to see you at one of these events. If you know people who will be interested to hear about any of these shows, please pass this along.

New York:

You Are Here → Mapping the Psychogeography of New York CitySeptember 24 – November 6, 2010

Pratt Manhattan Gallery

144 West 14th Street, 2nd Floor

Gallery Hours: Tuesday–Saturday 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Public Reception: 6–8 p.m. Thursday, September 23

Pratt Manhattan Gallery will present “You Are Here → Mapping the Psychogeography of New York City,” an exhibition of work by a selection of contemporary artists that will map the emotional terrain of the world’s most famous and influential urban center, New York City, and explore the effect of the city’s powerful moods on those who live and work here. “You Are Here” is guest-curated by Katharine Harmon, author of The Map as Art: Contemporary Artists Explore Cartography (Princeton Architectural Press, 2009) and You Are Here: Personal Geographies and Other Maps of the Imagination (Princeton Architectural Press, 2003).

Artists: Kim Baranowski, Ingrid Burrington, Dahlia Elsayed, Jane Hammond, Hand Drawn Map Association (Kristofer Harzinski, Janine Nichols, Shane Watt, Rob Servo, Tony Dowler, Will Haughery, Yumi Roth, Gowri Savoor, Krista Shaffer, Kees Touw, Dean Valadez, Kris Harzinski), Liz Hickok, Maira Kalman and Rick Meyerowitz, Nina Katchadourian, Daniela Kostova and Olivia Robinson, Miranda Maher, Bill Rankin, Liz Scranton, Asma Ahmed Shikoh, Robbin Ami Silverberg, Jeff Sisson, and Nicola Twilley.

San Francisco:

Fall Open Studios

Sunday, October 10th, 11-6pm, with a Preview night on Friday, October 9th, 7-10pm

1890 Bryant Street, Studio 211, San Francisco, CA

Las Vegas:

Off the Strip, New Genres FestivalOctober 17th-21st, 2010

Contemporary Art Center, Las Vegas, Nevada

My video will be part of a screening at the Sci-Fi Center on Friday, October 15th, 7:30 pm

Sci-fi Center, Commercial Center: 900 E. Karen Avenue, Las Vegas, NV 89109

Sincerely,

Liz Hickok

Nice, er, r...

Got wine? In theory, for the less-endowed alcholic female...

there's an app, er, bra for that. Check it out-

The Winerack

Now you can turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends! We get it that some chicks just don’t want that pregnant look that comes with The Beerbelly. We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Sue, who is not, no offense Sue, Well Endowed. Strap on the Winerack and Voila’ Sue’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.

I'm not a sommelier by any stretch of the imagination, so I won't question whether this would effect whether the wine would still be served at the correct temperature.

Five & Ten

I said no more memes, but it is the Princess that asks.

Instructions...

(1) Turn on your MP3 player/iPod.
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode.
(3) Write down the first TEN songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating, please (even if letting the world know you listen to crap "Weekend in New England" will humiliate you).
(4) Choose FIVE people to be tagged. It is generally considered to be in good taste to tag the person who tagged you, since there should be new songs appearing with Shuffle every time.

1. Robin Trower "No Time"
2. Dwight Yoakam "Honky Tonk Man (LP Version)"
3. CSS "Rat Is Dead (it came with my smartphone)"
4. The Family Stand "Ghetto Heaven"
5. Herb Albert "Rise"

6. Blind Faith "Can't Find My Home"
7. Dwight Yoakam "Please, Please Baby (LP Version)"
8. Mountain "Mississippi Queen"
9. Kinski "Punching Goodbye Out Front (also came with the phone and a brilliant song title)"
10. Dwight Yoakam "I Sang Dixie (LP Version)"

All the Dwight Yoakam songs come from "Just Lookin' For A Hit," which is the only full LP that I have on my phone's MP3 player.

Pizza in a cone?

Do you remember in "The Jerk" when they had "pizza in a cup?"

Well, I guess somebody to took that to its next natural progression, with a "Pizzacone." Ah, only in Manhattan.

Here comes The Real L Word

Oh man, if you don't already have Showtime? This will definitely make you want to subscribe, because they are bringing "The Real L Word."

Executive producer of "The L Word," Ilene Chaiken has teamed-up with Magical Elves ("Top Chef" and "Last Comic Standing") to bring us, "The Real L Word," and it's premiering June 20th on Showtime. Follow a group of six lesbians in their daily lives at work and play in Los Angeles, and you'll quickly learn that real life is even more compelling than fiction.

OurScene TV has the scoop.

Showtime has a trailer and pictures of the stunning cast.

The Premiere Issue of Dark Valentine is here!

Though you wouldn't know it from this blog because I don't mention it here, I am a writer and an author. I am proud to be involved with a new magazine that specializes in dark fiction, and its name is Dark Valentine Magazine.

The cover illustration is by Joanne Renaud, and novelist Elizabeth Zelvin kicks things off with her story, "The Silkie." My friend, editor and author Katherine Tomlinson has a yarn called "Automancer."

My fellow authors from the Premiere Issue of Needle Magazine, Sandra Seamans, Paul D. Brazill and Chad Rohrbacher also make this issue a must-read, with their amazing story-telling talents.

Please, check out the Dark Valentine Magazine in PDF form, here.