Top Chef, WTF?

So let's see, her chevre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil was just a little to salty for the gals. Tom and Michael Chiarello weren't complaining during the serving.


Besides, she didn't serve a pregnant woman an undercooked egg (uh, Mike Voltaggio) and she had duckiness going for her.

She has duckiness.

Forget them, Jen, you're my Top Chef.

Uh, would you drink that?

Would you drink an ale named "Pliny The Elder?"

Sure, maybe, I don't know. I do have some reservations with the brew I saw sitting next to it...

...I mean, "Blind Pig?" It is probably a tasty ale, but I can't help but think of people getting blind off of bathtub gin during Prohibition.

Enough of that, here is Weird Al with "The Beer Song."

How neglected is this blog?

How neglected is this blog? It is definitely the red-headed stepchild of my bunch.

As I have said before, I have a bunch of Las Vegas pics that I still have to upload to this blog, and I probably won't get to them until Christmas break. Speaking of Christmas, all traveling monies will be diverted to the Xmas fund this year, so I don't forsee another travel post until 2010.

What does that leave? Well, look at the photo below...



...I am stoked over the new Sherlock Holmes film...or at least the I am jazzed about the trailer. I hope that Guy Ritchie is back to making quality films and Robert Downey Jr. has been outstanding in most of his movies, lately. Yet, I can't help questioning this particular tie-in.

I mean, when I think of the Great Detective, I think about his deerstalker cap, the pipe, his brilliant skills of observation and ratiocination.

Yet, somehow taquitos never seem to enter the picture when it comes to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's favorite character. I don't know, maybe it's me and I do need "to get a clue."


And hey, here is another advantage to living in San Francisco...we have bacon potato chips.

No, not bacon and potato chips, bacon potato chips. Potato chips with bacon in them. Sweet!

Big in Japan...literally

I first saw this in the Daily Fork this morning, the Whopper 7.


In honor of today's release of Windows 7, Microsoft is apparently teaming up with Burger King to offer a Windows 7 Whopper. The seven patty burger is being offered only in Japan, and will be available for the next seven days.

Unfortunately, from the looks of the ad below, this monstrous burger appears to be severely lacking when it comes to cheese. We say, if you're already willing to shovel about a day's worth of calories down your throat with a seven patty burger, what's a few hundred more?




Then they had a follow-up report that included a video from CNN.

In case the advertisement wasn't enough, here's some footage from CNN of the Windows 7 Whopper. Seven patties, 1.7 pounds of hamburger, 2120 calories, and yet it's not available in the US. What gives?


I could in theory eat that, but I'm sure it would knock about forty minutes off of my life span and I just don't know.

Our Vegas Vacation Part III

So Downtown Las Vegas used to be the place before The Strip was created and it has been a stepchild ever since The Strip hit its stride. I guess around '95 or so the powers that be decided that Downtown needed a makeover and a face lift. So they created the Fremont Street Experience by enclosing Fremont St. with a roof that doubled as a giant video screen.

Speaking of "experiences," this band did Jimi Hendrix covers in celebration of the 40th Anniversary of the Summer of Love. While the guitarist sounded more like a Hendrix-disciple in terms of style, ala Ray Vaughn or Trower, the band was tight and did Hendrix proud.




The Teen still isn't technically a teen, because he couldn't handle the music's volume. I loved the band, though besides the volume, we couldn't stay and watch because we were there to eat. Downtown is cheaper than The Strip overall, in terms of pricing.

Dude, Tony Roma's time! Not the greatest, but it is still a good solid chain food that you know won't let you down. Be forewarned though, the restaurants in this casino share their bathrooms! Now mind you, we were seated quickly, but I timed my bladder out for the bathroom to be nearer than it was and it was a real adventure trying to cut back through the crowd to get to the restroom.

Here is the Cowboy that you have seen in "Crime Story," "Honey, I Blew Up The Baby," Miller Genuine Draft ads, and so many others.

I have literally dozens more pics, but I keep putting off uploading them. When I get around to my next series of vacation pics, you will see a mall that is unlike any other...think Francis Ford Coppola's take on Casablanca. The city, not the film.

Seafood and seals at Half Moon Bay

So The Missus wanted out of the house and out of town, what could I do? I thought let's go down the coast, but not too far. I Googled restaurants in Half Moon Bay and I picked the Princeton Seafood Company.

It was a quick drive once we got past 19th Avenue traffic and one right lane bandit determined that we should all enter the freeway at 40 mph.

When got to Half Moon Bay, what did we see?

A boat beached in the harbor.

Here's a little closer look at it. I don't know why they haven't removed it yet. Maybe the whole operation would probably be too expensive.

Here's another picture of the harbor. I don't know what's up with that warped picture effect, I guess my smart phone moves in mysterious ways, Bono.

This was just outside the Princeton Seafood Company on such a beautiful evening. Not too cold, which is rare for Half Moon Bay and there was no wind, which was even more rare. They serve good food, not great, but not as bad as some other restaurants that like to take advantage of people who show up for a beautiful view.

This sign says, "Dear Parents, All unattended children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy. The Management."

Is this from the prow of the "S.S. Milkmaid?" This cleavage looks bigger in the pic than it actually is, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten any eating done. They make a really big crab Louie salad, Elaine Benes.

This fella is just outside the restaurant.

It was still warm when we got outside. The pelicans were getting the last of their fishing in as we walked down the pier. It was too dark to get a good shot of the lighthouse and the break, so I'll have to do that another time.

This boat didn't have a roof and these two guys were working on it.

Whatever he was sawing or sanding provided a nice fireworks-like show. The sparks drew the attention of a pod of seals. Once they correctly surmised that there wasn't any food to be had, they caroused around under the pier. Half Moon Bay is a much nicer alternative to a staycation, when the weather permits.

Our Vegas Vacation Part II

Well, it's good thing that there are so many things to do and see in Vegas, because walking will do you a bit of good after the buffets. I went in a fairly decent in-shape middle aged man and came out looking five and half months pregnant.

Avast, ye blog readers, heave to! A lot has changed in the fifteen years since The Missus and meself set foot in Vegas. The last time we were here, fifty mile an hour winds prevented the pirate show from going on at Treasure Island...



...needless to say, this isn't your parent's pirate show. Gone are the days where they had sword fights, muskets and one ship rammed into the other. Or at least that was the way the old show was described to me. I realize that everything has to change to attract a new audience, though the show I had described was not the show that my thirteen year-old saw.

The wind cries...who? The statue (is that what it's called? on the prow of The Siren's ship should be your first clue that once again, this is not your parent's pirate show.



This is your other clue that the show has changed. The major casinos had custom chopper with a theme to it. This one is for the "Sirens of Treasure Island," which is what the new show is called.





None of the custom choppers are street-legal. If you rode on one, at the first pothole or speed bump, the drive chain would rips the seat of your pants off...along with your seat and maybe your spine.









Sorry, my cell phone camera doesn't have zoom and this is the one time I wish it had a telephoto lens. Yet I guess their "siren song" can't be too effective, if they need those costumes. I didn't bother taking a picture of the pirates, though you could have had a good laugh at the one that was done up like parrot. Everyone lip-syncs their routine, which is understandable because you don't want to mike people with water and explosions involved. What I really, really could have done without was the dancing pirates.

So much for the "S.S. Dancing Pirate." The Sirens song that they used to sink it, was a combination "Don't Pay The Ferryman" and "The Immigrant Song." It not only sunk the pirate ship, it sunk my stomach too with its mediocrity.

Don't get me wrong, the women were pretty. I just prefer my pron...hardcore and with no dancing in it. I'm not a fan of soft-core reviews, though I understand they are Nevada's bread and butter. Yet I am not a fan of mixed genres and this was as mixed-up as tourist ralphing up his buffet after three too many drinks.

Either run a competent soft-core review or have a real action show, but don't make us stand around for thirty minutes, for a bad Britney Spears' video.

The rear view of the Sirens' ship and, uh, a pearl in a scallop shell?

This shot was from a pedestrian bridge, though you can't tell. The traffic around the strip was horrid.

This part of a monster mall that they have there, is it called "Fashion Island?" Hell if I can remember, I just like this pancake umbrella dome. Ah, the pic says "Fashion Show," let's go with that.

Looking out from The Pancake Umbrella Dome.



The vid screens there.

The next post will feature Downtown and "The Fremont Street Experience."

Our Vegas Vacation Part I

And so it begins, "they're going to Lost Wages, Lost Wages." We flew Virgin America to Las Vegas and to borrow the slogan of a defunct airline, it's "the only way to fly!"

How do you guarantee a smooth flight?

With Le Tourment Vert, my first foray with absinthe. Even though I've seen "Bram Stoker's Dracula" at least three times, I forgot to add sugar to this stuff (you're supposed to filter it through a sugar cube and no, not Bjork. An actual sugar cube).

Still, the resulting buzz was outstanding and I recommend you try this when you fly, as it will make all but the worst turbulence a wonderful experience. You might need it, as the ride into Vegas can get bumpy. It wasn't the worst for me, yet a couple of people looked a little pale.

I had some unintentional fun when I remarked to The Missus "throw this away, Grumpy Bunny," just as the flight attendant walked by. Not that I call The Missus that odd term of endearment at all, I just said that to get a rise out of her, and I wound up getting rise out of the stewardess instead.

The outside of the Luxor hasn't changed at all and unfortunately, the interior has changed for the worse in one aspect; gone is the underground canal and barge, which was the basically the reason we came there in the first place.

Mind you, The Luxor is still nice...it's just that the canal made it better. I believe that when they opened The Venetian, that Vegas decided there was room for only one canal.

Do you remember cars in front of Ellis Island, because I sure don't.

A roller coaster winds all the way around the grounds of New York, New York. The Sahara has one that goes around the property too.

No, this picture is slightly different from the one two pictures above it.

Here is the bridge to New York, New York. The two advantages of the casino over the real version is the cleanliness versus the real thing, and cars/taxis can't run you over. Over course, it doesn't have the soul of the city, the affordable restaurants, the diversity of the various cuisines, and you can't go to dinner with Becky at the casino.




No Francis Albert, this lady blows on her own dice.


Above is the casino's version of Times Square.

This version of Greenwich Village is anywhere from one-third to one-half scale.

The door behind the table should give you an idea of the scale of this section. If you stood up, the door is about six feet tall, tops. The Missus said it best when she called the whole thing "ersatz" and that's what it is, it is just a version of the real thing that is alluring enough to draw you in. No more, no less, and it is devoid of the character and soul of the actual thing.

Have you ever seen the Greenwich Village this clean? This sterile?

As hard as you try, you will never be able to take a picture in any lighted area of Las Vegas without someone stepping into the shot, even at 4 AM.

Da Brooklyn Bridge.


This statue and the namesake of The Diabla Cantina, seems to be Coop-inspired.

The Cantina had Steely Dan going and the Monte Carlo Casino that the Cantina is adjacent to, was playing noxious disposable pop. When you walk between the two, it feels as if your brain is on fire.

A side entrance to the Monte Carlo Casino and this angle of the statue on the left seems more saucy than it is.

Don't you love Paris in the springtime? Well Jacques, this is Paris Casino in August and it's hot as b--ls, so, I'd imagine not!

Note the mini-Arc De Triomphe on the right.

Anthony Bourdain Survives Sandra Lee

Let me preface this by saying I don't find Sandra Lee to be evil and that I have a semi-crush on her that keeps me from completely hating her for just reheating food on TV (for the most part). Yet, I'm not a serious chef nor do I play one on TV or on the Internet, and Anthony Bourdain certainly fits that description.

He had the misfortune/fortune to be ambushed by Sandra Lee and unlike his encounter with Emeril and his semi-homemade encounter with Rachel Ray, this left him slightly traumatized-


I'm paralyzed, wondering what the statute of limitations is on various things I may or may not have done twenty years ago. Sandra is talking. I know this cause her lips are moving and she's saying--overtly anyway, nice things. Like "You're a very naughty man," and she's chatting amiably with my wife... [I'm] frozen by the bizarreness of the moment which seems to go on forever as Sandra's hand wanders upward, tugs an ear lobe and asks if my ears are red yet. (They were.) Having had her way with me, she leaves the emptied husk of my carcass teetering at the table and moves on.

The rest is here at Eatmedaily.com, which should be your first stop every day for the best food blogging.

Will This Replace Coca-Cola In Terms of Soda Sales In Korea?

Somehow I think asshat-ery of reality TV is crossing over into real life beverages. Just check out The Daily Fork's Ten Of The World's Strangest Beverages if you don't believe me. Some of them are fairly goofy, but I'll bring this one up because the company's name sounds silly-


-and so does the main non-water ingredient, kim chee. That's right, pickled fermented cabbage.
Cheers!

$150,000 A Year? Such A Bargain!

Does this house look familiar to you?

The pic is from SocketSite.com

It's the house from Season One of Top Chef. It has five bedrooms and either four or three bathrooms, depending on which site you go to. All this can be had for the amazing low price of $12,500 a month. That's right, for a little less than someone pays for an entire year's rent on a house in Bum(expletive), Montana, that would pay for a month's rent for this fine joint.

Well, if you seen the show, you know that it has a nice roof garden and it photographs very well.

It's A Hot Dog *And* A Hamburger!

Don't you just love the Internet? Just when you've thought you've seen it all, something else comes along and beats that convention up, like it owes it money.

First, do you remember that Saturday Night Live commercial?

"It's a floor wax."

"It's a desert topping."

"It's a floor wax!"

"No, it's a desert topping!"

"Well, you're both right, it's a floor wax and a desert topping."

Well, here's the summer barbecue equivalent to that, a "hot dogie-burger." It seems that back in 1963, "Better Homes And Gardens" put together a book called "Better Homes and Gardens: Barbecues and Picnics." In it was a recipe for a hot-dogie burger. That's right, gum your colon up twice as fast, with only half the effort.

Stephanie Butler at Eatmedaily.com resuscitated this recipe and she took pictures of it. Actually, the cooked result doesn't look half bad, though I don't have a barbecue or a yard to try this out. Maybe it's time to finally break down and get a hibachi.

BTW, shouldn't that be spelled "d-o-g-g-i-e?" Like Doggie Diner?

Or like "Augie Durante?" Er, "Augie Doggie?"

Author Mitzi Szereto Goes Prowling for Jellied Eels

Forget that Andrew Zimmern creep, there is nothing bizarre about a man who would eat anything and everything served to up him (in front of a camera crew or not). Besides, he hardly works at it or works up to it. Do you really want to see brave? Author Mitzi Szereto braves, the rudest of London denizens, as well as the scary monsters and super creeps that scamper around the English capital, in order to find jellied eels.

Jellied eels, people.

Damn, you're a better blogger than I am, Gunga Mitzi. At any rate, here's the first episode of Mitzi TV, enjoy.

Liz Hickock Gets A Writeup In Chronicle

Liz Hickcock got a writeup in the online version of the San Francisco Chronicle yesterday, and it's a good one.

Her latest piece was featured and there are YouTube videos of some of her previous works. Click the purple and take a gander.

Per Bacco For My Birthday

Bacci, tabacci e venere
Riduce tutti i uomini
A cenere

"Bacchus (wine), tobacco and women
Reduce all the men
To cinders"

-an old Italian proverb


“Perbacco” is an Italian word to accentuate positive comments. It can also be an expression of pleasure and surprise, as well as a reference to Bacchus, God of Wine and “good times.” A fitting name for a ristorante so thoroughly steeped in the traditions of Italy, yet with a refreshingly modern feel and attitude. Perbacco introduces urban San Francisco to the full range of flavors found in the Italian regions of Piemonte and Liguria, with a touch of France by way of Provence.


-from the Perbacco site


Try as you might, you'll never get even one step ahead of The Missus, because she has you figured out through at least the year 2012...or so it would seem. The fourteenth of April was my birthday and as to just where we were going that day, was a secret to everyone but her, The Teen (formerly "The Kid" until this past March 31st), and the youngest Sister-in-law.

The youngest Sister-in-law hinted at it, but I didn't process the hint. So that evening, The Missus, The Teen and I piled into the car and headed Downtown. Where we going? I had no idea and right after we parked, we headed towards California Street.

Now was it going to be the Tadich Grill, the oldest restaurant still running in both San Francisco and California? Or was it to be Aqua? I stopped at each door, but The Missus kept going. Curiouser and curiouser, do I follow her down the rabbit hole? No need, we went to Perbacco and it's a good thing too, I don't want to deal with that Chesire Cat or the Queen of Hearts.

Perbacco is a wonderful restaurant, but be forewarned, the savory (it's not picante like it's Mexican counterpart) salsa verde that they serve with crostitini (bread sticks) will seek your clothing like a homing missile. Dip your crostitini and do not bring it towards you, but meet up with it over the plate or else you will wear it.

There is a wonderful decor there, but decor is the very last thing that I go to restaurants for. I'd gladly eat at a place that took over an non-renovated greasy spoon and left it as such, if the food were heavenly. Thank God this isn't the case, though the lighting is a little too dim in some sections.

I talked The Teen into ordering Cured Meats from the salumi. Which is comprised of lonza, culatello, lardo, coppa, and coppa picante. I had the cooked salumi plate which is comprised of mortadella, testa arrotolata, ciccioli, coppa cotta, testa, and fegatini d'anatra. Salumi plates have been the rage in San Francisco the past two years and nothing is better than cured meats that are made on the actual site. They don't serve the forgeries of Italian food that most supermarkets try to pass off as being Italian and they don't serve that old stuff that took the slow, slow boat from Genoa. Good gravy, the stuff just melts in your mouth, it's scary how much better something can be with just a little more work and care, with the freshest of ingredients.

For the second course, I had vitello tonnato, which was somehow more American in style, even though the taste was Italian. The slow-roasted veal was sliced thin like a carpaccio and like carpaccio, it was almost paper-thin. Again, you get the "melt in your mouth" effect. The tonnato or "tuna-ed" sauce had more of a lemon flavor than I have experienced in Italy. I'm not complaining, but I'm not certain if native Italians would necessarily like this dish in such an untraditional way.

The Teen had pappardelle, pasta ribbons (I believe they are homemade) with a short rib ragu. Again, the ragu is slow-roasted and this dish proves just why the world should follow the Slow Movement when it comes to food. There was no bone served with the dish, but you could tell that the meat was so tender that it fell off the bone.

For the third course, The Teen had beef short rib stracotto and like his pappardelle, this dish was fork tender and perfectly seasoned. He even loved the potato-parsnip puree and he pretty much hates all vegetables. I had the pork chops and Per Bacco understands that a perfect pork chop has just a touch of pink in middle. The fava beans that accompanied this dish were earthy and let's face, they were good, but I don't like fava beans (nor do I appreciate census taker's liver or chianti, th-th-th-th-plp).

The sole misfire for me was the pansotti, that The Missus ordered. It was pillowed pasta, stuffed with ricotta and I'm not sure what else, served with a butter sauce. Though it would be merely decent at any other restaurant, it was a dish that was way below everything else that they serve.

The deserts were on par with the rest of the menu, sublime and delicious. The waitstaff were friendly and attentive, not to mention, they save me the ordeal of enduring "Happy Birthday (To You)."