Look-alike?

Well done, Top Chef, bringing back past season champions to compete against the finalists of Top Chef All-Stars. The quickfire didn't quite pack the excitement that I thought it would, but I still enjoyed it. Of course, it didn't help that a certain notion kept distracting me while I was watching Mike Isabella take on Michael Voltaggio...




...you see, I wasn't totally convinced that it was Michael Voltaggio!



What am I talking about? I'll put it to you this way...

...why don't you ever see Tony Hawk and Michael Voltaggio in the same place?

Eh?

Eh?

Yeah, thought so.

Goodbye, Superstarrr

So it's official, according to Eater.com, Kelly Choi will not be back for the third season of "Top Chef Masters." The following image accompanies the article...

Oh c'mon, Eater.com, she isn't that bad. Sure, she could stand to eat a cheeseburger...or five.

This pic is pretty much as close as she allows food to get near her. Still, who else will read the judge's ratings with such an exaggerated aplomb?

"Susur Lee, the judges gave you three and-a-half staaaarrrsss!"

Marcel, SyFy, coincidence?

From Eat Me Daily-

Seems like you can't have a cable network without a food show these days. Syfy has announced a new reality lineup which includes a show called Marcel's Quantum Kitchen, starring Top Chef season 2 runner-up Marcel Vigneron. The show will feature Vigneron's new catering company as they take on wacky theme parties such as a fairytale graduation and a goth-rock fashion show. It seems that the only reason this show fits the science fiction genre is that Vigneron is a molecular gastronomist, but we'll wait to see it before we pass judgment.


Hmm, on the SyFy Channel? Why on the SyFy Channel?

Hell if I know, Elliot.

Top Chef, WTF?

So let's see, her chevre mousse with honey mushrooms, braised radishes, and basil was just a little to salty for the gals. Tom and Michael Chiarello weren't complaining during the serving.


Besides, she didn't serve a pregnant woman an undercooked egg (uh, Mike Voltaggio) and she had duckiness going for her.

She has duckiness.

Forget them, Jen, you're my Top Chef.

$150,000 A Year? Such A Bargain!

Does this house look familiar to you?

The pic is from SocketSite.com

It's the house from Season One of Top Chef. It has five bedrooms and either four or three bathrooms, depending on which site you go to. All this can be had for the amazing low price of $12,500 a month. That's right, for a little less than someone pays for an entire year's rent on a house in Bum(expletive), Montana, that would pay for a month's rent for this fine joint.

Well, if you seen the show, you know that it has a nice roof garden and it photographs very well.

More Of Jaime Lauren From OurScene TV

Hey, you don't have to be Stefan, to suffer from Jaime Lauren or Top Chef withdrawals.

Pic from 7 X 7 Magazine

Dan from OurScene TV emailed me another clip of Jaime and it's a juicy 90 seconds. As always on this blog click whatever text is purple and you are off to link land. You'll really enjoy this segment. Jaime talks about what she would cook for a date (nothing???), when she came out, who would play her if there was a "Top Chef" movie, and she chooses between Giada and Nigella.

Seriously, though, it's not a contest. Giada might have a slight edge in cooking, though you wouldn't know it from this old segment from TVgasm and the picture below...

...But Nigella? As I've said before...

...As I've said before, the shirt is self-explanatory.

BTW, if you don't laugh at TVgasm's Giada takes? You are either dead, or you're Giada.

Why Not An Ostrich For Thanksgiving?

What's that David Grohl?

Keep you in the dark
You know they all pretend
Keep you in the dark
And so it all began


Oh, okay. So let me ask The Foo Fighters and yourself, what do you get when you cross Geena Davis...



...with Madchen Amick?


That's right, Ostrich Egg Girl!



I'm gonna miss Jill and not just because she's easy on the eyes, but because she might've tried to cook ostrich for the Foo Fighters Thanksgiving dinner and that would've been great TV!

I'm the voice inside your head

No, Dave, that would be The Missus, telling me to help her with the desserts for tomorrow.

You refuse to hear

Once again, that would be The Missus.

I'm the face that you have to face

I don't have to face you, the Top Chef contestants do.

Mirrored in your stare

Uh, we look nothing alike.

I'm what's left, I'm what's right

Wha, which are you? I thought you voted for Obama like I did.

I'm the enemy

I'm a little tired of listening to Nirvana on the radio, but I don't hate you man.

I'm the hand that will take you down

Bring you to your knees

Once again, incorrect, because that would be The Missus.

So who are you?

Cormac Brown.

Yeah, who are you?

Uh, Cormac Brown.

Yeah, who are you?

I just told you.

Yeah, who are you?

You've spent too many years standing next to the P.A. speakers or you just don't listen.

Speaking of not listening, you didn't listen to your tasted buds and your stomach, because Team Cougar should've won. They had the better turkey (all right, Ariane!) and the better flavor profiles. Though their execution was lacking a bit and...what am I saying? Jaime was on Team Sexy Pants! So go on, Jaime, and represent the Bay Area!

P.S. Danny is kind of turning into a bastard, will he be this season's villain? Because the show is really lacking a Marcel.

Is The Money On Radhika?

The Missus has picked Radhika and hey, maybe she knows something, because her instincts are dead-on. She picked Obama to go all the way, before anybody else that I knew did.


I do know this, Ariane has pictures of somebody doing something that's illegal somewhere, 'cause she might be a good cook, but she's not a Top Chef.


I also know that Carla...





...looks just like Tracy Ellis Ross.




Is Carla, Diana Ross's secret love child?


Naw, kidding. At any rate, when I root, I'm a homer and I root for the home team-





Jaime? Get your spatula out and toss them like so much mango salsa!

*Sigh*, Anthony, Anthony

Courtesy of Eater SF via the Broward Palm Beach blog Short Order, great quotes of Anthony Bourdain from the Miami Book Fair.

Bourdain to Mario Batali about Gwyenth Paltrow-

“Why would you take a trip through Spain with someone who clearly doesn’t eat?”

Mario replied-

“You weren’t available and she’s much cuter.”

Uh, yeah, Anthony? Gwyenth eats, she just doesn't necessarily "keep the food down." And after the birth of "Pear," er, "Tangelo," er, "Pomelo?" Whatever the kid's name is, she actually looks even healthy at times.

Short Order also says of Tony-

Bourdain also takes a stab at the Food Network’s very skinny Robin Miller, claiming that every time she reaches for the refrigerator door, he’s afraid that her frail wrists will snap….and that his daughter cries whenever she hears Robin’s voice.

Tony on Padma-

When asked about most foodies’ favorite cooking competition, Bravo’s Top Chef (his blog for Season 3 was nominated for a Webby), Bourdain said he was a huge fan of host and fellow chef Tom Colicchio but snubbed co-host and former wife of Salman Rushdie (?!?), Padma Lakshmi. Jabbing at the beauty’s intelligence, he said she wouldn’t be his first choice for Barack Obama’s cabinet…or to host a show.

'kay, do I actually have to explain this?

I value intelligence in women and I've never been with a woman that if she wasn't at least smarter than me by thirty IQ points, she was at least more clever than me.

But when it comes to TV shows, sometimes that just goes out the window. Other than the obvious, I didn't like Padma, yet she grew on me...and I honestly can't argue this out. Just look at the pictures, Tony. She's part of the set, ya dig?

Then Signore Bourdain really steps in it with-

"Spanish ham is far superior to Italian ham."

To wit, I reply, stronzo, che cazzo stai dicendo?!

(sh*th**d, what the f**k are you saying?!)

As usual, he always redeems himself in my eyes-

At the Food & Wine Festival and while a photo was being snapped for the Miami Herald, Bourdain, while standing near a picture of his beloved Rachael Ray, wrote the numbers 666 on his hand and placed it in front of Ray’s forehead.

Top Chef Has No Love For The SF Bay Area

So this morning I read in Tablehopper that executive chef of Absinthe, Jaime Lauren is going to represent San Francisco during the upcoming season of Top Chef. Excellent, and who else is going to represent the San Francisco Bay Area? Apparently, according to Bravo, Jaime and only Jaime. Whoa, it's like being snubbed by Michelin all over again.

Say, uh, Bravo, in which city did you kick this show off? It wasn't Los Angeles, the city that is too busy being "seen" to actually eat the food, when the people down there aren't sticking their fingers down their throats (manorexia, too!). It wasn't New York, the city that prefers the safe and proven stuff. Not to mention it is possibly the only city in America where it would cost more to film than...why, San Francisco.

Yes, the very city that accepted you, Top Chef, with open arms, and made no pre-judgements about your show. You know, the city that photographed so beautifully and gave you the perfect background for you to establish your show? Yeah, you know that city, yeah, that one. The one that you now treat like a red-headed stepchild.

San Francisco: Would it be possible for us to have more than one chef on the show?
Bravo TV: Shuddup!
San Francisco: But-
Bravo TV: I said "shuddup!" Do you want to taste the back of my hand?
San Francisco: All I was asking was-
Bravo TV: Do you want to taste the back of my hand?


Sniff. Fine Bravo, be that way. We (meaning the Bay Area, not the royal "we") might watch, but we won't watch happily.

As for Jaime? You may be from the NYC, but I will be rooting for you, and only you. Show 'em the back of your hand, girl!