Sunday, October 26, 2008

You Named A Restaurant "What?"

I couldn't believe my eyes when I was looking at today's paper online, the name of this restaurant up in Healdsburg, California..."Scopa."

The verb "scopare" in Italian means to "sweep." The more popular usage of said verb though, means to "f*ck."

So on your next date with an Italian national, tell she or he "I know just the right place for dinner" and be prepared to be slapped...or groped. There's no telling until you actually bring it up.

Yeah, go ahead and tell your Italian grandmother "I just ate at Scopa's last night." You better wear at least one earplug while you do that and don't be surprised by the unfriendly phone calls that you will get from the rest of the family, as an added bonus.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Top Chef Has No Love For The SF Bay Area

So this morning I read in Tablehopper that executive chef of Absinthe, Jaime Lauren is going to represent San Francisco during the upcoming season of Top Chef. Excellent, and who else is going to represent the San Francisco Bay Area? Apparently, according to Bravo, Jaime and only Jaime. Whoa, it's like being snubbed by Michelin all over again.

Say, uh, Bravo, in which city did you kick this show off? It wasn't Los Angeles, the city that is too busy being "seen" to actually eat the food, when the people down there aren't sticking their fingers down their throats (manorexia, too!). It wasn't New York, the city that prefers the safe and proven stuff. Not to mention it is possibly the only city in America where it would cost more to film than...why, San Francisco.

Yes, the very city that accepted you, Top Chef, with open arms, and made no pre-judgements about your show. You know, the city that photographed so beautifully and gave you the perfect background for you to establish your show? Yeah, you know that city, yeah, that one. The one that you now treat like a red-headed stepchild.

San Francisco: Would it be possible for us to have more than one chef on the show?
Bravo TV: Shuddup!
San Francisco: But-
Bravo TV: I said "shuddup!" Do you want to taste the back of my hand?
San Francisco: All I was asking was-
Bravo TV: Do you want to taste the back of my hand?

Sniff. Fine Bravo, be that way. We (meaning the Bay Area, not the royal "we") might watch, but we won't watch happily.

As for Jaime? You may be from the NYC, but I will be rooting for you, and only you. Show 'em the back of your hand, girl!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

A House Not Even Fit For A Lollipop Kid

From Curbed SF

Remember the "Lollipop Kids" that welcomed Dorthy to "The Land of Oz?" Didn't they live in houses about as big as this?

Nine feet, ten and a half inches wide!

This makes my dinky two bedroom 760 sq. ft. apartment seem like the Taj Mahal. "Claustrophobia?" No, "ColeValleystrophobia."