Saturday, January 15, 2011

Goodbye, Superstarrr

So it's official, according to, Kelly Choi will not be back for the third season of "Top Chef Masters." The following image accompanies the article...

Oh c'mon,, she isn't that bad. Sure, she could stand to eat a cheeseburger...or five.

This pic is pretty much as close as she allows food to get near her. Still, who else will read the judge's ratings with such an exaggerated aplomb?

"Susur Lee, the judges gave you three and-a-half staaaarrrsss!"

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Happy New Year and, "Is This What Makes Women Truly Happy?

Well, Happy New Year! For all intents and purposes, I have completely forgotten about this blog. Mostly because my other blogs, writing and the holidays have taken up the majority of my free time.

On the other hand, I have discovered what makes women truly happy. If you pick up any women's magazine or watch any channel that is geared towards the fairer sex, the advertisements play upon the insecurities of women...both real and imagined. Yet, there is one recurring item that will make the better half of the world consistently happy.

Are we talking about marriage? Those that have walked down the aisle (including The Missus) will tell you that it is not always what it has cracked up to be.

Is it jewelry? I'm sure De Beers would like you to think so, but some of the most miserable women that I have ever known were adorned with some of the finest baubles.

Is it chocolate? Weight-gain, acne and weight-gain beg to differ.

No, we are all over-thinking this, and the answer is right in front of our faces-

That's right, salad.

You heard me, I said, "salad." Think about it for a second, every newspaper, print or TV ad depicts women in rapturous bliss with a plate of greens or fruit.

Of course, using crushed Xanax in lieu of croutons certainly helps. Take the gal above for example, she's been t*ssing that salad for six continuous hours and she's on the verge of getting carpal tunnel syndrome. This epiphany was inspired by, and they have all kinds spoofery devoted to skewing the culture of women's magazines.