Saturday, August 9, 2008

(amended) I Come From The Land Of The Pale Blue Legs

Alternative name for the post? "While the world unravels, Cormac travels."

So we embarked on our trip from the Land Of Pale Blue Legs (tourists who expect San Francisco to be warm during the summer, ha!) to The Island Of Long.

The shuttle van for the airport was on time...we were not. Minus one Karma Point. As we put our luggage in the back, there is a German woman in the driver's seat and people, she was not the driver. She was on her cell phone, shrieking into it...when she wasn't shrieking at the driver. Long story short, she didn't leave herself enough time for an international flight and somehow is everybody else's fault.

The Missus was convinced that the woman was Danish and my wife has certainly spent more time with Danes that I have. In retrospect, I believe that the woman was from Apoplecxia. She was quite a multi-tasker, hounding the driver and shouting at whoever she was talking to on the cell phone while looking for a taxi cab to jump ship to. The poor shuttle driver found a taxi before she did and we pulled over in somebody's driveway.

She ran off to the cab and a silent cheer went up throughout the van. Silent because no one wanted to break the new wonderful silence, Depeche Mode.

At SFO...

The family that wears travel head rest pillows together, shall be mocked for wearing travel head rest pillows together. Take them off and carry them like anyone with common sense would, dorks!

One day soon and though it probably won't even make the papers, the flight attendants for Singapore Airlines will all look like a bunch of polyester pirates, because of the eye patches that they will be wearing. They insist on tying the scarfs they wear into a bow with highest part of that tie sticking up at above chin level. Conceivably they could lose half of the flight crew, just bending down to fast and picking things up.

we watched a KLM plane unloading packages and parcels both in containers and plastic-wrapped/cargo-netted to a pallet. These pallets would then go on this articulated platform that would control the direction of the pallets by turning the wheels underneath them.

Guess what came out of the 747 next? I'll give you a hint, it's bigger than a baby's arm...

...and unfortunately, my in-laws computer won't let me upload the f*cking thing. Arrrggghh!

Trust me when I say it is fairly fantastic and you'll have to wait until I get home to see the thing.

(amended version) and here it is, a Lamboghini Gallardo!

Is that cool or what? The person who owns this must have made their money off of Ikea.

We flew Virgin American, mostly because I was scared that the other airlines would go belly up in between booking the flight and the actual flying. Virgin is cool, you get your own MP3 player, Television playing live TV, movie player, and you can even chat with your seatmates (though the keyboard is tricky).

There is light pink and purple neon lighting just like in a nightclub and you can order food or drinks at fifteen minutes after take off all the way up until fifteen before landing. The flight attendants are re-laxed and if not for having to wait a year for our luggage because Virgin had to share the luggage carousel with another Virgin flight and two other airlines, I would say don't bother flying with anyone else. But standing around JFK for thirty-five minutes waiting on just two bags of luggage, is not my idea of fun.

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